FH Mini 159 - Clearing the Floppet

[0:00] hey there welcome back to another flop house mini that is a mini version of the flop house podcast

[0:08] now normally here at the flop house we watch a bad movie and talk about it but here at the flop

[0:12] house mini we get all other kinds of business done and boy howdy do we have a lot of business

[0:17] to get through today i am joined by my two long-suffering co-hosts introduce yourself

[0:23] fellas dan mccoy elliot calen that kind of energy is what i need guys because

[0:31] be here at the flop house should i should you want more from me is that it more energy

[0:35] yeah give me another take can you give me one with a little bit more uh sauce on it at least

[0:39] elliot go go go go go calen

[0:42] oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i've never seen those

[0:49] guys i did 23 and me and i found out i'm 25 morning dj oh yeah so i'm getting in touch

[0:59] with my heritage soundboard dna little five percent michael winslow in there exactly

[1:04] uh maybe three percent winslow homer interesting as yeah so i do a lot of sound effects of ocean

[1:11] scenes yeah uh so as uh if this is your first time listening there's a flomp house mini where

[1:19] we do other things and one of the things about these minis is that i am constantly getting emails

[1:24] with suggestions for what we should cover in these minis and they're just adding up guys

[1:29] and i feel like i know that we you know we've been pulling a lot of overtime here at the flop house

[1:33] but we really got to crack through this big list of things so i figured the easiest way to do it

[1:39] is to just crank it all out in one episode if there's one thing each of us three guys has

[1:45] experience with it is cranking it out so let's let's do that yeah we we have a three-way video

[1:51] group chat where we can confirm that yes yes where we crank it out together called the circle crank

[1:59] that was the third crank film title oh man too bad it never got made yeah that's why it never

[2:08] got made they said we can't put this out it's too beautiful so the only way we're going to be able

[2:12] to get through these.

[2:13] I've kind of taken these ideas

[2:14] and broken them down.

[2:16] What we are going to have to do

[2:17] is we are giving,

[2:20] we have to agree to

[2:21] a top three of these items, okay?

[2:26] All three of us have to agree to it

[2:28] before we can move on

[2:30] because this is going to be,

[2:31] this is the official Flophouse record.

[2:33] And this is going to take us less time

[2:34] that we have to all agree on it?

[2:36] We have to all,

[2:37] I mean, Elliot,

[2:38] what do you think

[2:38] we're just saying our favorites?

[2:39] We have to agree to a top three.

[2:41] That's what people are requesting in their constant emails that are filling up my email box for miniideas at gmail.com.

[2:49] Top three mini ideas is what we're deciding on?

[2:52] Each one of these things, we're doing the top three that addresses that.

[2:54] Okay, so for instance, this is the first one.

[2:57] This should be super easy, no issues here.

[3:00] All right, let's try it.

[3:00] We have to agree to the official Flophouse top three Pixar movies, okay?

[3:05] What are the top three Pixar movies?

[3:07] I'm just going to – look, I'm going to lay down a chip and be like –

[3:12] Please put it down.

[3:13] Personally, I feel like WALL-E has to be on there.

[3:16] Yes, WALL-E would be the first one I would go to as well.

[3:18] WALL-E's definitely on there.

[3:20] Okay, I think all three of us can agree, but we'll figure out where it's placed.

[3:22] That was easy.

[3:23] What else is on there?

[3:24] I assume everything else would be just as easy.

[3:26] Don't say the Cars movies, Elliot.

[3:28] I know you have seen Cars 2 more than any human alive.

[3:31] Only Cars 2 is what I would put – no, I would also – Up is another one I would want to put in there.

[3:36] It's an controversial one.

[3:38] How so?

[3:40] Well, I feel like that's the last of the like really classic era ones, I think.

[3:47] But I think it has, it's a little lumpier.

[3:52] It's a little like the beginning, everyone remembers.

[3:55] Come on.

[3:55] Beautiful, tear-jerking stuff.

[4:00] Cartoons can be sad, Dan.

[4:02] Sometimes cartoons can be sad.

[4:03] The storytelling throughout the rest of it is a little up and down.

[4:06] I actually find that one of the things I like about it

[4:09] is that there are elements that should not work together.

[4:12] I find work together pretty nicely in that movie.

[4:14] I always enjoy watching it.

[4:16] I got a tear in my eye.

[4:17] I'm laughing.

[4:17] Maybe I got to revisit.

[4:19] You know what?

[4:19] I mean, I think if anything,

[4:21] this is inspiring me to revisit Up.

[4:24] But, okay, so those are the,

[4:26] we definitely have one, Up as a possibility.

[4:29] WALL-E is definitely on there, yeah.

[4:30] Is Good Dinosaur going in there?

[4:32] It is not.

[4:33] No.

[4:35] Which are the Toy Stories?

[4:36] You've got to have Toy Story 2, maybe?

[4:38] I don't know.

[4:39] 3 is so good.

[4:39] Toy Story 3?

[4:40] 2 and 3 are both really great.

[4:43] Yeah.

[4:43] You could make a list where it was WALL-E and Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3.

[4:47] I don't know if that is the list I would prefer, you know, but you could do that.

[4:52] Yeah.

[4:53] I might give the edge to 2.

[4:57] Okay.

[4:58] Personally, like if we have to just pick 1, I would either do 2 or—

[5:02] We just have to pick 3.

[5:03] Yeah, that's true.

[5:05] I mean, again, we could Solomon this

[5:07] and just put Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3 on there,

[5:09] and then Toy Story 3 will be like,

[5:10] no, but I shouldn't be on the list

[5:12] if it's going to hurt anybody else,

[5:14] and then we realize Toy Story 3 is the true mom.

[5:17] Mm-hmm.

[5:18] Yep, that's, wait, that's what it's about, true moms?

[5:21] I mean, that's what the Solomon story is about, yeah.

[5:23] Just like that HBO show, True Momtective.

[5:28] I mean, that would do numbers on, like,

[5:31] Hallmark or Lifetime, I think, True Momtective.

[5:34] So I think we can all agree on movies that are not making it onto the list.

[5:37] Good Dinosaur is not making it onto the list.

[5:38] Brave is not making it onto the list.

[5:40] Soul is not making it onto the list.

[5:43] What else?

[5:43] Any of the Cars.

[5:45] None of the Cars are going to get on there.

[5:47] Although I will say Cars 3, it's the best of the series.

[5:50] It's pretty good.

[5:50] But it's not up there with the best of the Pixar movies.

[5:53] What about Nemo on there?

[5:55] I don't need an on word.

[5:57] No on words?

[5:58] I would say Nemo is one that I don't particularly love as much as other people.

[6:03] That is a beloved one that has never done all that much for me despite having this really funny voice work in there.

[6:12] It's not bad.

[6:13] It just doesn't reach the level to me for the other ones.

[6:17] Banjo-Kazooie is not going to be on there.

[6:18] It's a video game, not a Pixar movie.

[6:20] That's actually a good point.

[6:21] My Neighbor Totoro is wonderful as it is.

[6:23] It's not a Pixar movie, so that's not on there.

[6:25] I feel like John Lasseter would gladly put himself in the opening of – would claim some credit for Totoro.

[6:33] He would claim some of the credit for Totoro.

[6:35] He'd get drunk at work, and he'd put his hands on a girl's legs at work.

[6:38] So John Lester, we don't want him to do that stuff.

[6:42] Who else?

[6:43] Let's see.

[6:44] Like a pineapple.

[6:46] A lot of people like pineapple.

[6:47] I don't.

[6:48] Again, it's not a movie.

[6:49] We wouldn't be on the list.

[6:51] Pineapple Express is a movie, but it's not a Pixar movie.

[6:54] Not a Pixar.

[6:55] Not even animated film.

[6:55] It's a live-action film.

[6:56] Yeah.

[6:57] I mean, their performances are pretty animated, though.

[6:59] That's true.

[7:00] That's a good point.

[7:02] What other Pixar?

[7:02] Now I'm having trouble.

[7:03] Like Bugs Life, I've never loved that much.

[7:05] It's fine.

[7:05] It's okay.

[7:06] You know, there was a point at which I would have argued for The Incredibles.

[7:10] I tried to rewatch it recently and it wasn't working for me that well.

[7:16] I will say Incredibles, I loved when it came out.

[7:18] And I also found I don't like it quite as much.

[7:21] Incredibles 2, I didn't love that much.

[7:22] But the first Incredibles, yeah, I feel like some of the, I don't know what it is.

[7:25] If I was going to go for a Brad Bird at this point, I would go for Ratatouille, I think.

[7:30] Oh, yeah, Ratatouille's on there.

[7:32] I'd want to go for the Iron Giant, but again, that's not a Pixar thing.

[7:36] Ratatouille, that's one where when I first saw it, I was like, this is all right.

[7:40] But I think now I like it more than when I first saw it.

[7:43] I think Ratatouille could be in there.

[7:45] I'll give you, you know what?

[7:46] Let's say Ratatouille.

[7:47] Let's, why not?

[7:48] Let's live dangerously.

[7:49] Let's say, if we're, let's, I could out of spite, because you guys don't like Up as much, say, let's get Ratatouille.

[7:56] Ratatouille has nothing in it that reaches the emotional heights of Up, when Up has those emotional heights.

[8:01] But we're definitely putting a Toy Story on there, right?

[8:04] I mean, I definitely cry at the end of Ratatouille when he has his little flashback.

[8:08] When he eats the food.

[8:11] Let's do it.

[8:11] I mean, it doesn't destroy me the way the beginning of Up does, but then nothing follows.

[8:16] I mean, because his memories of being a kid are not quite as sad as a man losing his wife after a life together.

[8:21] Well, I mean, a whole life lived, you know, just like the scoop.

[8:25] And the music, the music in Up is great.

[8:30] No, I think I'd be happy with WALL-E, Toy Story 2, and Ratatouille.

[8:35] That's one, two, and three.

[8:36] Yeah, just as a way to keep life moving along.

[8:40] I will back you on that.

[8:41] Elliot, do you back us on that?

[8:43] Just to keep the episode moving, I will.

[8:44] I would put Up instead of Ratatouille.

[8:47] But that's just me.

[8:48] Hey, let's keep the episode moving.

[8:50] In the interest of being a functioning democracy,

[8:53] I'll take the compromise and I'll keep moving.

[8:55] Yeah.

[8:55] Okay, next one.

[8:57] But the next one I'm going to be a real asshole about.

[8:59] Yeah, next one should be a little easier.

[9:02] Songs by the band The Cars.

[9:07] Do I know three songs?

[9:10] You've got to.

[9:11] I got to.

[9:11] I must, right?

[9:12] I mean...

[9:13] Let me look them up.

[9:14] Maybe the memory of Phoebe Cates is influencing me,

[9:18] but I think it's a pretty great song.

[9:20] Moving Stereo is a pretty great song.

[9:23] I'm a big fan of, what is it, Let's Go with the clapping?

[9:29] you're all I've got tonight

[9:31] that's a good one

[9:32] let the good times roll

[9:33] I know of the good times roll I know

[9:36] I don't think I know enough songs by the Cars guys

[9:39] or I've heard them and I don't know them

[9:40] you don't know Best Friend's Girl or Just What I Needed

[9:43] Best Friend's Girl

[9:44] I gotta need a girl like my best friend's girl

[9:47] where can I find a best friend's girl

[9:49] like that

[9:49] you're kind of mashing up two songs

[9:51] I don't know the song you're talking about

[9:53] that's insane

[9:55] that's like when my ex-girlfriend said she'd never heard love shack before and i'm like

[10:01] we're the same age well that's been in a mall before i don't think you can compare that i feel

[10:05] like love shack was everywhere the car is very successful band they had songs that you would

[10:09] certainly hear a lot but love shack was everywhere you know because how not it's it's it's impossible

[10:15] to listen to it and not be happy like you want to get up and dance it rules it's a great song

[10:19] it's about going to a love shack you're going to a shack full of love do i want to go to a shack

[10:25] No.

[10:25] There's love there?

[10:26] Maybe.

[10:27] How big is your car?

[10:28] How many people does it exclude?

[10:29] And you get to bang, bang, bang on the door, baby.

[10:31] Yeah.

[10:32] The tin roof, admittedly, rusted.

[10:34] But still, you want to be in that shack, you know.

[10:37] I mean, the walls are shaking because everybody's moving around and around and around, you know.

[10:41] I guess Elliot's just showing what songs he can do for karaoke.

[10:44] He can do this and his weird mashup of Best Friend's Girl and Jessie's Girl.

[10:49] I guess what I'm showing is I know the B-52 is much better than I know the cars, so.

[10:52] Yeah, name three songs.

[10:54] But B-52s, strobe light.

[10:58] Wow.

[11:00] You didn't even go to Rock Lobster as a second one.

[11:02] Hell, you didn't even think about Rock Lobster, yeah.

[11:03] Yeah, Rome, Planet Claire, like you went to it.

[11:06] Planet Claire, yeah.

[11:08] Okay, so.

[11:09] So we've all established we know B-52s songs.

[11:13] Yeah.

[11:13] The listeners should have asked about B-52s,

[11:16] but they asked about the cars instead.

[11:17] I would have had such stronger opinions about that, you know.

[11:21] I'm pushing for Let's Go, and I think moving in stereo,

[11:24] okay do you want to say uh you know what i mean i don't know if it's one of their best ones but

[11:30] like i just remembered shake it up i think they have a bunch of songs like that where i think of

[11:38] it as the music i hear in movies and commercials but it's not necessarily like i don't even think

[11:44] of them as like let the good times roll is a song where i think of is like oh that's something i

[11:47] hear on the soundtracks of things like i don't necessarily hear it as a song but it is a song

[11:51] obviously you should buy the record and listen to it i think i might maybe i have to we're going

[11:55] like big songs so the third one i might go with is just what i needed just because it's like just

[12:00] what i needed okay that's a car song all right yeah you if they don't have at least like three

[12:06] cars songs in the cars movies la it's your favorite movie series we've already talked about

[12:10] that would be insane if you haven't heard a bunch of cars no they only play life is a highway over

[12:15] and over again that's that sounds like some kind of weird like like uh existentialist hell for me

[12:24] somehow they somehow they make a less soulful version of it that feels like that feels like

[12:30] flats version rascal flats is the less soulful version of a rock band yeah i'm like trapped in

[12:34] an arcade and there's a driving game and that's the theme music and i have to hear it all day long

[12:40] I once went with our friend of the show, Matt Carman.

[12:45] We went and took our kids to a slot car racing place in Brooklyn, and they had the old Ninja Turtles arcade game that was – and no one was playing it.

[12:52] But just every couple seconds, it would play the demo where it starts playing the beginning of the theme song and it goes, Cowabunga!

[13:00] And then 30 seconds would go by, and then it would play again.

[13:04] And I just looked at the proprietors of the slot car place who were both elderly people, and I was like, you have to sit.

[13:10] and hear this all day, every day.

[13:12] They don't hear it anymore, Elliot.

[13:13] They must not even notice it anymore, you know?

[13:16] Yeah, it's just like audio mush to them.

[13:19] Yeah.

[13:19] Okay.

[13:21] Like the Flophouse, audio mush.

[13:23] Audio mush, some of the best audio mush, yeah.

[13:25] That was relatively painless.

[13:27] We're just grinding away.

[13:29] Next one is Saturday Night Live hosts.

[13:34] Hosts?

[13:34] Hosts.

[13:35] Oh, wow.

[13:36] I mean, you got to go Steve Martin for one of them, I feel like.

[13:38] Steve Martin would probably be number one.

[13:39] classic yeah okay he brings something special with him and before dan says his two favorites

[13:45] elon musk and donald trump just say i don't think we should pick them i don't think we should pick

[13:51] them now uh stephen seagal not stephen seagal i would put tom hanks brody i'd put i'd put tom

[14:00] hanks as a as a sincere reply he's another one where he always he he adds to what he's doing

[14:05] there he always seems like he's game for it he's genuinely a very funny and smart performer we

[14:10] should have a non-white man melissa mccarthy i'll push for melissa mccarthy i think she throws

[14:16] herself in there um i'm thinking about it i'm not gonna argue too hard with it like

[14:21] never been one of my faves but but i'm trying to trying to think who else i would counter with

[14:30] i mean she's good i think she's really good yeah i would have no problem with her with that with

[14:35] her. Well, maybe I should just...

[14:37] Or you want to push for another

[14:39] five-timer like Emma Stone or...

[14:42] Tina Fey doesn't count. She's a former cast member.

[14:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not counting former cast members?

[14:47] All right, that's... Yeah, we can narrow that down.

[14:49] No, no, no. I'll go with Melissa McCarthy.

[14:51] I do like Emma Stone a lot

[14:53] as a host as well, but... She is good.

[14:55] But I don't think she has the

[14:57] animal intensity

[14:58] that Melissa McCarthy brings.

[15:01] She does some fun character work that

[15:03] I would love someone

[15:05] to tap into uh this is a this is a snobby thing for me to say or a snobby dumb thing melissa

[15:11] mccarthy mf stone is a very funny actress melissa mccarthy is a comedy person like melissa mccarthy

[15:16] is is is comedy is a part of her in a way that i don't necessarily think it is the same way for

[15:20] a performer like himself now i again we put i put tom hanks on there he i don't know if he's a

[15:25] comedy person or not maybe he's a comedy person adjacent you know i mean he he's in a comedy

[15:30] called bachelor party i think he played a stand-up in punchline i think i'm just being

[15:35] influenced by uh melissa mccarthy's recent projects have not matched her talent and so

[15:40] cloud over her i don't think her work has ever matched her potential i think she has the potential

[15:47] to be one of the funniest film performers maybe ever and i and i've every time i see something

[15:53] with her in it i'm always like i wish this was like it's like watching a lot of peter

[15:56] sellers movies where you're like i wish this movie was as good as you should be as as your talent

[16:02] deserves yeah you know and steve martin of course is a is a comedy genius you know so okay i think

[16:09] if i met him i'd be very frightened that i would displease him or that he would be rude to me in

[16:13] some way but you know but i you know his work is very inspirational to me i mean not really that

[16:18] i mean it's it's part and parcel he seems uh gracious but cold like i don't think he would

[16:23] be mean to you. But I think he's someone who

[16:25] his stand-up comedy work I find genuinely

[16:27] inspiring. I find it revolutionary.

[16:30] You know, so.

[16:31] That was kind of easier than I expected.

[16:33] That was an easy one, yeah. I thought we were going to battle on that one.

[16:35] I'm just going to talk about something I'm aware of. Okay, how about

[16:37] movies starring a dog?

[16:40] Oh. Now,

[16:41] okay.

[16:43] It can be in a guest starring role, too.

[16:46] But it has to be like one of the top

[16:47] bills. Now, an animal dog or like Warren

[16:49] Beatty? Animal dog, not

[16:51] Warren Beatty. All right.

[16:53] Unless he is doing the voice of a dog character.

[16:57] So I guess Bonnie and Clyde is off the list.

[16:59] A little searching because I don't have a lot on the top of my head.

[17:02] This movie is starring a dog.

[17:03] Have you guys ever seen the movie White Dog?

[17:05] It's a Samuel Fuller movie.

[17:07] No.

[17:07] About the racist dog?

[17:09] About the racist dog.

[17:09] I haven't seen it.

[17:10] I'm aware of it.

[17:11] No.

[17:12] It's a dog that's been trained by a racist,

[17:14] and now these people have to deprogram it, basically.

[17:17] Oh, wow.

[17:17] That's crazy.

[17:18] It's a good movie.

[17:19] Maybe it's not one of the best, but it is a good movie.

[17:21] But at least that is a movie about a dog that is a serious movie

[17:24] as opposed to like Beethoven, Air Bud, you know, that kind of stuff.

[17:27] Now, which Marmaduke movie are we going to go with?

[17:29] Oh, boy.

[17:30] Now, are we talking about animated movies also

[17:32] or movies where an actual live dog was in?

[17:35] The rule doesn't say anything against animated dogs.

[17:40] Okay, because that changes things a little bit.

[17:43] There's a slight Air Bud reference, I think, from Stuart there.

[17:45] A dog movie.

[17:46] Yeah, yeah.

[17:47] Nothing in the rule book.

[17:48] Now that I think about it,

[17:49] It's hard for me to think of any animated dog movies that I think are particularly amazing.

[17:53] All Dogs Go to Heaven?

[17:55] Yeah, like I said, hard for me to think of any animated dog movies that I think are amazing.

[17:59] The animated Marmaduke movie we covered for the podcast.

[18:01] Once again, I think—

[18:02] The Shaggy Dog or The Shaggy DA.

[18:04] Once you do it, just like before he was employed or after.

[18:08] Are those movies starring a dog or a man who turns into a dog?

[18:12] I'll say it's starring a dog.

[18:14] Okay, I guess a dog plays the part of the dog.

[18:16] Yeah.

[18:18] I mean, I think I probably will put Beethoven on there

[18:20] because it's got Charles Grodin in it, too.

[18:22] And a big dog and Charles Grodin is a good combination.

[18:24] That's a good combination.

[18:26] You're not going to say, like, Turner and Hooch or K-9?

[18:28] No, because Turner and Hooch is not a good movie.

[18:30] K-9 is also not a good movie.

[18:31] I think I'd like, let's not put movies on that are bad.

[18:33] I'm going to, I'll put a real one out there.

[18:39] Not necessarily one of my favorite Disney movies,

[18:42] but a good one, 101 Dalmatians.

[18:45] Oh, I thought you were going to say Balto.

[18:47] That's not a Disney movie.

[18:49] The animated one, Elliot, not one of the...

[18:51] Oh, okay, not the live action.

[18:53] I'm just like, Homeward Bound.

[18:54] I'm not saying necessarily that's a...

[18:56] Homeward Bound's a dog movie.

[18:57] I'm going to put Homeward Bound,

[18:58] I'm going to suggest Homeward Bound on there.

[19:00] You're going to put like Milo and Otis or something on there?

[19:02] No.

[19:04] I don't want to celebrate that kind of mistreatment.

[19:08] I love how angry Elliot's getting.

[19:11] Cujo?

[19:13] I don't feel like the Cujo movie lived up to my hopes.

[19:16] What about Man's Best Friend?

[19:18] Do you remember that one

[19:18] with this experimental dog?

[19:19] With Lance Henriksen?

[19:20] Yeah, Escapes, yeah.

[19:21] I mean, it does have Lance Henriksen in it.

[19:23] It does.

[19:24] What about Far From Home,

[19:25] The Adventures of Yellow Dog?

[19:27] That is one I'm not familiar with.

[19:29] Yellow Dog's Adventures.

[19:31] What about these straw dogs?

[19:33] They're dogs made out of straw

[19:35] or are they just like sleeping in straw?

[19:37] Yeah.

[19:39] We did it on the Flophouse

[19:40] and it's a CGI dog,

[19:42] but I might put on that,

[19:44] nah, it's too high for it,

[19:45] that Call the Wild movie

[19:46] with Harrison Ford

[19:47] which is like

[19:48] not a great movie

[19:49] but to be honest

[19:50] like that's a

[19:51] it's a

[19:51] I think it's kind of

[19:52] a solid movie

[19:53] but maybe it loses

[19:54] points for being a CGI movie

[19:55] I don't know

[19:56] well we

[19:57] I mean I actually

[19:58] I'll back you up

[19:59] on the

[20:00] 101 Dalmatians

[20:01] I remember liking that

[20:02] quite a bit

[20:02] despite the one song

[20:04] at the end

[20:06] with the cats

[20:06] oh the Siamese

[20:07] yeah

[20:08] wait that's from

[20:08] Lady and the Tramp

[20:09] that's Lady and the Tramp

[20:09] oh wait

[20:10] that's a dog movie

[20:13] actually you know what

[20:13] I would put Lady and the Tramp

[20:14] above 101 Dalmatians

[20:16] show yeah yeah if only the last time i saw 101 dalmatians was i mean i love guella deville she's

[20:21] great she's like she's she's not quite ursula but she's getting to ursula the greatest of all disney

[20:26] villains and but the the last time i saw that movie with my kids when they were younger they

[20:32] found it very upsetting and i was like oh this movie is all about people on the run from the

[20:37] nazis that's what 101 dalmatians is about and i and it was and i felt like it was a little too

[20:42] harsh for the kids

[20:44] aside from the

[20:45] Siamese song

[20:46] which is a catchy song

[20:47] even if it's not

[20:47] you know

[20:48] if it's problematic

[20:49] it's got the scene

[20:50] with the spaghetti

[20:51] where they accidentally kiss

[20:53] that's maybe the greatest scene

[20:54] in any movie

[20:54] involving a dog

[20:55] I'd argue

[20:57] that it is

[20:58] the greatest

[20:58] dog movie moment

[20:59] so yeah

[21:00] I'm going to say

[21:01] here's one that

[21:02] like I'm going to

[21:03] toss out there

[21:04] that is not necessarily

[21:05] a favorite movie of mine

[21:06] but is perhaps

[21:07] the iconic dog movie

[21:10] and that's

[21:10] Old Yeller

[21:11] i don't think i've ever actually seen old dealer i've only seen oh really i remember seeing him

[21:15] being bummed i feel like more than once like at some school thing they're like well we're not

[21:23] gonna teach you anymore we're gonna wheel in a thing show you old yeller bum out the kids i mean

[21:27] you could put on there it's certainly a classic i've never seen it i don't think but i know of

[21:31] it as a classic so we got lady and the tramp in that top three maybe old yeller maybe what was

[21:38] What's that, Homeward Bound?

[21:39] I'm going to, oh.

[21:41] Frankenweenie?

[21:42] Frankenweenie?

[21:43] I never saw the feature length one.

[21:44] I've seen the short.

[21:45] No, I mean, the short is great.

[21:47] Does it count?

[21:48] So you said dogs could be in supporting roles, right?

[21:50] It would have to be a prominent supporting role.

[21:52] Is it too much of a stretch to say Toto in The Wizard of Oz?

[21:57] Because The Wizard of Oz is maybe the greatest movie ever made.

[22:00] Toto is a prominent character, and he gets a lot of screen time.

[22:03] But he is not second build, certainly.

[22:06] It's not necessarily a Toto movie.

[22:08] It's not really a Toto movie.

[22:10] Dune is a Toto movie because Toto did the score for it.

[22:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[22:13] I do think that Toto is a member of the team.

[22:16] Sure, he's the demolitions expert.

[22:19] I thought he was the religious guy who goes crazy.

[22:22] He's the con man who can talk his way into anywhere, yeah.

[22:26] In a way, he kind of is.

[22:28] Okay, let's say, let's give it.

[22:31] So we have Wizard of Oz with Toto.

[22:33] We have Lady and the Tramp.

[22:36] And the third was...

[22:38] Old Yeller.

[22:38] Old Yeller, okay, we did it, guys.

[22:40] We'll do it, we'll do it.

[22:41] I mean, I think the, yeah, I just,

[22:45] I have to speak up for Wizard of Oz

[22:47] because I've been realizing more and more as I get older,

[22:50] I think it's maybe my favorite movie of all time.

[22:52] Like, if I'm being honest with myself,

[22:53] I think Wizard of Oz is probably my favorite movie ever made.

[22:55] I think it's just maybe the most magical movie ever made, you know.

[22:58] Okay, we're going to do one more before we take a little break.

[23:01] We are flying through these guys.

[23:03] The next one is Kaiju Not Starting With The Letter G.

[23:08] Oh, wow.

[23:09] That's the main two.

[23:10] Wow.

[23:11] Elliot's category here because I'm not –

[23:13] And you also can't – you can't have Ghidorah on there either who's, I would say, the second best after the big man himself, Godzilla.

[23:18] What about King Ghidorah?

[23:21] Let's not play games.

[23:22] Let's not be cute here.

[23:26] I can't help being cute, Elliot.

[23:29] You're just naturally cute.

[23:29] I mean – because then like – let's think about who we could put on there.

[23:34] We could put Rodan on there, who I feel like I love his original movie.

[23:38] After that, he never quite lives up to it.

[23:40] He is very much the third of the big trio of Toho monsters after Godzilla and Mothra.

[23:46] Mothra could be on there, get a lady on the list.

[23:49] Mothra definitely could go on there.

[23:50] And Mothra had some more modern movie.

[23:52] I mean, more modern.

[23:53] They're probably like 10, 15 years ago, I think.

[23:55] She had some recent movies.

[23:59] Let's see.

[24:00] What other – you could talk – I mean, in terms of the Gamera movies –

[24:04] There's some fun ones on there.

[24:06] I'm trying to remember which is the one who has a head that's shaped like a cleaver.

[24:09] But that's G.

[24:10] I'm talking about the other movies in the Gamera series, you know.

[24:13] Not Gaios, obviously, because it starts with a G.

[24:16] Does Mr. King Kong belong on there?

[24:19] Here's the thing.

[24:20] Is King Kong a kaiju?

[24:22] That's the question to ask.

[24:24] I would say the American King Kong is not big enough, probably.

[24:29] But if King Kong is, you know what, let's just say he's allowable.

[24:31] The Mighty Peking Man, then the version that would be allowable.

[24:35] Yeah, or the Gargantuas, but that starts with G.

[24:37] You can't have the Gargantuas.

[24:38] You know, let's say King Kong's available, that he can do it.

[24:41] Because he is, then he would be number one.

[24:43] He is that, he's, I think, one of the few Kaiju that people.

[24:45] I hope Xander Cannon's listening to this episode and getting angry that we're forgetting obvious ones.

[24:49] I'm sure we're forgetting.

[24:50] I mean, I don't know, like, the Ultraman characters that well, you know, there's a ton of them.

[24:54] I keep thinking of other ones that start with G.

[24:56] I'm like, Gigan?

[24:57] No, starts with G.

[25:01] Mechagodzilla.

[25:02] Godzilla, Mecha.

[25:06] Dan, you've been notably quiet.

[25:08] I'm looking at a poster for Reptilicus.

[25:10] It's pretty cool.

[25:11] Reptilicus is pretty crappy.

[25:12] Pretty cool poster, though.

[25:14] It's a cool poster.

[25:15] It is a cool poster.

[25:16] As someone who saw that movie probably 15 times when we did it for Mystery Science Theater,

[25:21] and the same goes for Youngery, the other kaiju movie that we did.

[25:28] I mean, I just don't have the same depth of kaiju knowledge.

[25:35] This is one of these things that I like the fact that it exists in the world.

[25:40] I like the aesthetic.

[25:41] Sure, like Kevin Smith movies?

[25:44] I guess.

[25:45] I like the aesthetic.

[25:47] But I find most traditional kaiju movies, with the exception of the original Godzilla, kind of boring.

[26:00] I mean, you've got to really like it.

[26:01] You've got to sit through a lot of talking to get to the monsters, which is the fun part.

[26:05] I mean, but you've got to see.

[26:07] You're going to want to see Godzilla minus zero when it comes out, right?

[26:10] But this is referring back to another podcast that we recorded before this one.

[26:16] but I believe we'll release after probably if I remember the schedule.

[26:21] Speaking of 4DX, which we were,

[26:24] a friend was talking about how like they saw kaiju movies

[26:28] with like a Godzilla movie with like 4DX

[26:31] and how you think like, oh, this will be like the perfect movie for it.

[26:35] But you forget how much of it is like just people in rooms talking.

[26:39] Oh, look at these results, officer.

[26:41] Oh, Professor Somaso, yeah.

[26:42] There was like a moment in 4DX,

[26:44] they were, like, playing, like, a fax machine

[26:46] that was, like, rolling down the hall.

[26:48] Essentially, like, the camera's on the machine.

[26:51] As it rolled down, you'd feel, like, little jiggles

[26:53] as if you were the machine.

[26:55] That's pretty exciting.

[26:56] That's very funny.

[26:57] It really puts you in the movie.

[26:59] So, here's, I would start the list with King Kong at number one.

[27:02] Okay.

[27:03] And I would put Mothra at number two.

[27:05] Okay.

[27:06] Stuart, what do you think?

[27:07] Are there any others that come to mind for you?

[27:09] I didn't, man, I feel like this is a lot harder

[27:13] than I expected when I got this question

[27:15] because there are so many Gs.

[27:18] There are so many Gs.

[27:19] And otherwise it's like Hedorah, Eberra,

[27:22] like they're not, the non-G1, you know, Megalon,

[27:25] the non-G1s are not always the best of them, you know?

[27:29] And you know what?

[27:30] I might, for number three, just because I like them,

[27:32] I might put Anguirus,

[27:34] who first shows up in the second Godzilla movie.

[27:39] Some places it was released as Godzilla Raids again.

[27:42] Some places it was Gigantus the Fire Monster.

[27:43] monster um but uh but he's like uh he's like a spiny-backed turtle he's on four legs most of

[27:49] the time and i really liked that uh i like that he's got a different kind of look and movement

[27:54] to the other kaiju because he's a different silhouette exactly uh but he's in a lot of

[27:59] the movies he's super fun he's got a lot of attitude uh so i think that's what i i think

[28:03] i might put anguirus at number three i do want if xander is listening i do want him to write in and

[28:08] tell us which ones we're forgetting how we fucked up and i'll say if you haven't read kaiju max

[28:13] It's a really wonderful comic book series.

[28:15] It's one of the best.

[28:16] Pick it up.

[28:16] It starts out, you're like, this is going to be a joke.

[28:18] And then you're like, this comic is making me cry.

[28:21] Why is it so sad?

[28:22] Why is it so sad?

[28:23] Why is it so powerful?

[28:25] So that is a perfect spot for us to take a quick break.

[28:29] And we'll be back to finish this list so we can finally get some rest around here.

[28:40] Friends, it's your captains, Janet Varney and John Hodgman.

[28:45] As we come in for a landing on Season 3, we want you to know that all episodes of this season of E Pluribus Motto are available now.

[28:52] Be ready to binge hours devoted to the yellow hammers of Alabama.

[28:56] The tree octopi or octopuses of Washington or Worshington.

[29:01] And mottos official, unofficial, Latin and otherwise from states like Nebraska, Florida, and more.

[29:05] Once again, all E Pluribus Motto episodes are available now on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

[29:13] We hope you've enjoyed your journey with us and we look forward to traveling with you again soon.

[29:18] Please stay seated until the podcast comes to a complete stop.

[29:23] Hey, Alexis.

[29:24] Hey, Ella.

[29:25] What animal has the most teeth?

[29:26] I would guess a shark.

[29:29] A snail.

[29:30] No, snails don't have teeth.

[29:32] They have thousands and they are freaky looking.

[29:35] No, I don't want that to be true.

[29:38] Okay.

[29:38] Did you know that the hippocampus in your brain is named after the half-horse, half-fish sea creature found in Greek mythology?

[29:44] I didn't know that, but we're meant to be doing animal trivia and hippocampus isn't a real animal.

[29:49] Well, that doesn't matter on Comfort Creatures.

[29:50] You're right, it doesn't matter at all.

[29:52] Comfort Creatures is a cozy show for lovers of animals of all shapes and sizes, real and unreal.

[29:57] If that sounds like your cup of tea, then join us every Thursday for new episodes on MaximumFun.org.

[30:04] I'd like to say that this podcast is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[30:10] Well, if you'd like to say it, go ahead and say it, Dan.

[30:12] This podcast is sponsored in part by Squarespace.

[30:14] I will say it.

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[30:16] Gosh darn it.

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[31:25] Use offer code FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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[31:43] Now, a few years ago, a close friend of mine passed away,

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[32:55] Every now and then on the Flophouse,

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[33:00] What is a Jumbotron?

[33:01] A Jumbotron is a message paid for by our listeners

[33:06] so that we'll say it.

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[33:15] thank you for always being my Godzilla buddy

[33:17] and bad joke sounding board.

[33:19] We'll always have the time you came all the way to Boston to ask the Peaches what they would apologize for on Yom Kippur.

[33:24] Can't wait to hear all about your new adventures after escaping this hell country.

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[33:31] What a sweet message.

[33:33] And I appreciate it.

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[33:37] So, again, if you would like to have a sweet message like that stated on the Flophouse, go to – Dan, where do we go to?

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[33:59] But hey, if you'd rather pay to see us say our own words rather than your words, then why not tune in to Flop TV?

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[35:30] Okay, we're back,

[35:31] and we are pushing our way through this big old heap of mini ideas.

[35:36] We've gotten through three, I think.

[35:38] Of a bunch of different things.

[35:40] It hasn't come to blows yet.

[35:43] So the next thing we're going to do is top three.

[35:46] We have to decide the top three is the official ranking top three pasta shapes.

[35:51] Okay.

[35:51] Ooh.

[35:52] Ooh.

[35:52] Okay.

[35:54] Sorry.

[35:54] I was momentarily distracted by the idea that would come to blows because it would have

[35:59] to be between you and I, Stuart, since we're in the same room.

[36:02] Otherwise, we'd be punching the computer to try and punch Elliot.

[36:05] I would buy a plane ticket, take it over there, cartoon style, little red dots, and then I

[36:11] would arrive, and then I would punch Elliot.

[36:12] Do you guys ever heard that stand-up routine by Pervy George Carlin where he's like, sometimes it comes to blows and sometimes they blow to come?

[36:20] I'm like, Pervy George Carlin, this is not appropriate.

[36:23] But it does sound like Pervy George Carlin doesn't smoke as much.

[36:27] No, I don't think so.

[36:28] Takes care of himself.

[36:29] Yeah, his main vice is just masturbation.

[36:32] So anyway, let's talk about pasta shapes.

[36:35] Speaking of things you could masturbate with, let's talk about pasta shapes.

[36:39] Yeah, sure.

[36:39] So I think I may have some controversial opinions on this.

[36:46] Guys, I want to put ZD on there.

[36:48] I don't know if that's controversial or not.

[36:50] Oh, I was going to say fuck you, but you're making me think.

[36:53] But also—

[36:53] I got to get clear on—ZD is a tube.

[36:57] It's one of the tubes, right?

[36:58] It's a tube.

[36:58] It's one of the tubes.

[36:59] Is it a big one?

[37:00] It's the one that's kind of slanted at the ends, you know.

[37:06] It's a little narrower.

[37:07] It's not penne.

[37:08] No, penne, that comes in a chafing dish with vodka sauce,

[37:12] and that is the only way penne is ever served.

[37:15] Oh, you know what?

[37:15] Penne is the one that I got mixed up.

[37:17] Penne is the one that's slanted at the ends.

[37:19] Ziti is the one that's not, but I'm still going with ziti.

[37:21] I like a shorter tube, so I'm more of a rigatoni guy.

[37:25] Okay, interesting.

[37:26] How is rigatoni these days?

[37:28] Pretty good.

[37:30] No complaints.

[37:32] I mean, well, talking about tubes, talking tubes,

[37:35] I just want to say, well, we're two freaks over here.

[37:37] A tube boy over here?

[37:39] A tube boy, yeah.

[37:41] I prefer, what is it, bucatini?

[37:45] He's going to go with bucatini, the longest tube.

[37:48] Well, I prefer it to spaghetti.

[37:50] I feel like spaghetti is used a lot as sort of the standard pasta,

[37:56] but if you want something that's going to hold the sauce,

[37:58] the bucatini is going to do you better.

[38:00] I'm going to go with you on that because I like an iced carbonara,

[38:05] and bucatini is really good for that.

[38:07] What are you guys' feelings on Orchietti?

[38:10] I love it

[38:11] I love an Orchietti

[38:12] What about Radiatory?

[38:15] The little radiators?

[38:16] I don't know if I know that one

[38:17] I have to look at what it looks like again

[38:21] Oh yeah, Radiatory I like

[38:22] It's like the crinkle cut french fry of pasta

[38:24] What was that?

[38:26] Farfalle?

[38:27] Okay, wait, I gotta look that one up

[38:31] Yeah, Farfalle is good, it's the little bow tie

[38:32] It's like a little vampire bat bow tie

[38:34] Oh right, that's the little bow tie

[38:35] Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of the wrong thing.

[38:38] I don't, bow tie's fine.

[38:39] I'm not, what am I thinking of?

[38:42] Dan throwing Farfalla under the bus.

[38:43] You're not thinking of Didalini, right?

[38:46] I'm always thinking of Didalini.

[38:48] I actually don't know what that is.

[38:49] It's like tiny little tubes.

[38:51] Are you thinking about like, like Fusilli?

[38:56] No, too silly.

[38:58] I know, you know what I was thinking of?

[39:00] Pappardelle.

[39:01] I like Pappardelle.

[39:01] Pappardelle, okay.

[39:03] Okay.

[39:03] That's kind of a fatter noodle, right?

[39:05] Yeah, it's like the—it's a little bit more like—what's that?

[39:12] The Asian noodle.

[39:14] That's the flatter one.

[39:15] Oh, yeah, like in some Thai—

[39:17] Like drunken noodles or something.

[39:19] Yeah.

[39:20] I would say—so I think let's put Bucatini right on that list.

[39:24] Okay, Bucatini's in the top three, but we're not placing it yet.

[39:28] But I don't think it should take up the tube slot.

[39:31] No, no, no.

[39:32] No, it's a different type of tube.

[39:33] Yeah, yeah.

[39:34] It's a long, thin tube.

[39:35] I would say, like, yeah, I would still want to try to put a ZD.

[39:38] I'll accept a Penne.

[39:40] You know, maybe we could be rigatoni for one.

[39:41] I would argue rigatoni over both of those.

[39:43] But I would also love to put Orchietti on there.

[39:46] If we're all, that was the one I thought was going to be controversial.

[39:48] Yeah.

[39:48] You know.

[39:50] I think, yeah, we all kind of express an extreme love of Orchietti.

[39:54] I think Orchietti is on there, and I'm happy with any of the tubes.

[39:58] Honestly, the tubes are rigatoni-able to me.

[40:04] Just to keep, again, I feel like I'm the compromiser on this one.

[40:07] I'm the one who keeps us from coming to blows.

[40:11] I'll be okay with Frigatoni.

[40:12] I find it's a little floppy for me when it comes to tubes,

[40:15] but it still tastes good.

[40:16] It's a tube that tastes good.

[40:20] Well, now that we're talking about tasteable tubes,

[40:22] what's number one?

[40:24] We have the three on the list.

[40:26] Yeah, so our list is in no particular order.

[40:28] I feel like Orchietti might take the top spot.

[40:32] I think so.

[40:32] If he had such a quick, I thought you guys were going to say no.

[40:35] It looks too much like an ear.

[40:36] I don't want to feel like I'm eating little ears.

[40:38] But I think we all had such a positive response to it.

[40:41] Let's put that at number one.

[40:42] Porky at number one.

[40:43] Then I'd say bucatini at number two because I don't want rigatoni to be too high off the list.

[40:46] I don't want it to get a swelled head.

[40:48] Okay.

[40:49] Okay.

[40:49] That's fine.

[40:50] Okay.

[40:50] Yeah.

[40:50] We decided.

[40:51] That's our top three pasta shapes.

[40:53] We did it.

[40:54] Obviously, if we have any pasta chefs out there, write us a letter complaining.

[41:00] Okay.

[41:01] Next one is-

[41:01] Unless you agree.

[41:02] Right as the letter's saying, write on.

[41:03] You got it right.

[41:04] Yeah.

[41:05] Celebrating us.

[41:07] Next up is top three X-Men villains comics.

[41:13] Well.

[41:13] Not movies.

[41:14] Not movies.

[41:14] I mean, whether or not it's comics or movies, you got to put Magneto up at the top.

[41:19] Magneto's in there, yeah.

[41:20] It's hard not to just go Magneto Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, you know?

[41:24] But I wonder if there's, but let's talk about it.

[41:26] Mr. Sinister, I could maybe budge on.

[41:28] I'm a Mr. Sinister diehard over here.

[41:31] All right.

[41:32] He's like a creepy freak and weird.

[41:34] That's like the one I am the least familiar with.

[41:37] He is.

[41:38] So the problem with Mr. Sinister is that they never went with the original origin that Chris Claremont had for him.

[41:44] Because Mr. Sinister is so outwardly evil in every way.

[41:48] He's so cartoonishly evil.

[41:50] He looks like a child's idea of what an evil guy would be.

[41:52] And that was the original.

[41:53] Apparently, that was the original origin was that he was going to be that there was a kid who had the power to project this kind of like his idea of like an adult villain.

[42:02] out front but instead he's become this like he's a you know 150 year old geneticist or whatever who

[42:08] you know is and it has as as with all of the as with all the x-men characters they have all become

[42:13] real housewives at a certain point but he's the one who's become the most real housewife of all

[42:17] of them um so i could see but i mean but i love apocalypse on there i mean he does have style

[42:22] like a real housewife he does yeah that's true uh magneto you got to put on there because he's

[42:27] the flip side of xavier's dream yeah you know i mean i'm shocked that elliot hasn't mentioned

[42:32] his fucking legacy over here mr sauron here's the thing i love sauron is a character i genuinely

[42:41] love i think the reason i would fail to put him on is it really doesn't make sense that he's an

[42:46] x-men for for listeners out there not only did uh it is a panel of a comic from spider-man the x-men

[42:53] that Elliot wrote, gone far, far beyond this circle

[42:58] and is now a viral meme, right?

[43:00] Well, that is my cultural legacy, is that panel.

[43:03] And that is, it's so memed that there's also

[43:06] a Magic the Gathering card of Sauron

[43:08] that has abilities based on that.

[43:11] And the image on the card is based on that story also.

[43:14] Like, their source material for that Sauron card

[43:16] is basically just my comic, like the one I wrote.

[43:20] So, but at the same time, does Sauron reach the heights

[43:23] of the great X-Men villains.

[43:26] Not necessarily.

[43:27] Like he's such a,

[43:28] there's nothing mutant really related about him.

[43:31] You know, he's not a mutant.

[43:33] He could just as easily go after the Avengers

[43:36] if he really wanted to.

[43:37] Doesn't he use mind control to get freaky with X-Babes?

[43:40] Yes, which is,

[43:41] not to get freaky with X-Babes,

[43:42] but he does use mind control,

[43:44] which is an X-Men thing.

[43:45] It's pretty gross.

[43:46] I mean, Chris Claremont was all about mind control,

[43:48] submission and dominance, you know.

[43:50] And his fingerprints are still very heavy

[43:52] on the x-men franchise um are they i don't know do the sentinels count as like a unit yeah we could

[43:59] you know what i would call i would say yeah i think because there you have so then here's the

[44:03] thing i think you need in these x-men villains they have to be thematically related to the x-men

[44:08] core what is the x-men about they're the next step in evolution they're feared and hated by the world

[44:14] yeah and they're it's it's a and it's all about um being an outsider and being oppressed and being

[44:20] hated for just who you are.

[44:22] Magneto is very much about that

[44:24] and

[44:25] became more so as the character

[44:28] developed over time.

[44:30] Apocalypse is the version of the

[44:32] X-Men characters where he's like, yeah, we are the best.

[44:34] We are the best and my whole

[44:36] being is just about

[44:38] pushing humanity so that only the

[44:40] strongest survive and only the best of

[44:42] everything are there. And he's got a

[44:44] he should not work. He's like got a clown

[44:46] face. He's like a big purple guy. His

[44:48] belt buckle has an a on it which is it's all goofy but he's so cool he's just so cool he can

[44:54] change shape and do whatever basically if hox's powers would do basically whatever he wants uh

[44:58] he's a he's a godlike being in some ways um and he works for the celestials in some way that has

[45:02] never really been fully explained um i think the sentinels you're gonna say strife i know aren't

[45:08] you here's okay let me let me defend strife let me make my case for strife then i'll talk about

[45:13] the sentinels strife is such he is so great once you lean into the fact that he is so melodramatically

[45:22] over the top with everything he's like he's a clone of cable he's got his his armor is covered

[45:28] with spikes it looks like it would be painful to wear and when he talks he's never like now i'll

[45:33] get my revenge he's like oh mommy and daddy the cursed child has returned you know like it's

[45:39] always he i reread the executioner song a while back not i've read the book the executioner song

[45:44] by norman mailer that's not what i'm talking about the the crossover that is a very strife

[45:47] centered crossover that came out in the 90s when i was like mailer write that arc yes norman mailer

[45:52] was the guy who plotted out that arc and strife in it is so hilariously over the top and everything

[45:58] he says he's a great character i really love him um when he's done that way um if fabian

[46:03] nasiezo is writing a strife comic sign me up uh but i think the sentinels are the third point in

[46:08] that diamond where magneto is the mutant who thinks to save mutants you got to do the opposite

[46:13] of what professor x wants apocalypse is the mutant who wants to destroy who wants to crush humanity

[46:18] because humanity does not deserve to exist if mutants exist and the sentinels are the human

[46:23] response when humans overreact they're the i would say living but they're mechanical they're the

[46:27] physical embodiment of hate and fear and oppression in this in this robotic form you know and they

[46:34] only exist in order to go

[46:36] after mutants. So yeah, Dan, I think the Sentinels are

[46:38] real solid. That would be my, my picks

[46:40] would be Magneto, Apocalypse, Sentinels.

[46:42] I mean, I, you have made such

[46:44] a strong case, Elliot, that it still,

[46:46] it breaks my heart to lose,

[46:48] you know, the style points guys

[46:50] like Mr. Sinister or the weird

[46:52] demon guys like Sim and what.

[46:54] And Nastra and all that. I'm also fond

[46:56] of, I mean. Madeline Pryor and her, I mean,

[46:58] Madeline Pryor was a mystery to character.

[47:00] Obviously the goblin queen, baby. I'm fond of the

[47:02] brotherhood of evil mutants, but I can't single

[47:04] one out there the blob it is it is incredible it is incredible it's like jack kirby was such

[47:11] an idea machine but it's like okay we've got these characters the x-men they've all got amazing

[47:16] powers number one magneto controls magnetism i love it that's great number two issue two the

[47:21] vanisher he can teleport okay that's all right i mean it's not it's a cool power there's not a lot

[47:26] you can do with it number three the blob what's his power big fat guy can't budge him that's the

[47:32] third? That's the third villain they're going to

[47:34] go up against. Number three.

[47:36] That's the third one.

[47:38] And who are they going to go after after that?

[47:40] Then it's the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.

[47:42] All their greatest villains are going to

[47:44] team up. Okay, they've had three issues so

[47:46] far. So their greatest villains,

[47:47] I mean, they introduced Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch

[47:50] that way, who are enduring actors.

[47:52] Okay, we did that. Who's up next? Well, we've got to do

[47:54] Unus the Untouchable. What does he do? He's got a

[47:56] force field. Can't budge him. Wasn't the

[47:58] blobs thing that you couldn't budge him?

[48:00] Yeah, well, you can't budge this guy either.

[48:02] And then there's an issue not long after that where the Blob and Unus team up and it's like, come on, guys.

[48:08] One wonders, like, Jack Kirby, are you just annoyed at people being slow on the subway?

[48:15] And of course, there are the great X-Men villains.

[48:18] You got the Juggernaut.

[48:19] You got Selene.

[48:20] The Hellfire Club.

[48:21] The Hellfire Club.

[48:22] Yeah, you got all them.

[48:23] You got Cameron Hodge.

[48:25] Cameron Hodge, I've never loved, but you know.

[48:28] Yeah, and I'll go with Ellie.

[48:30] Elliot's the expert on this as far as I'm concerned.

[48:32] I mean, you could put Black Tom and the Juggernaut together

[48:35] as the first kind of openly gay couple in comics,

[48:38] but I think you got to go with...

[48:40] But at this point, all the X-Men characters

[48:41] are essentially gay in some way, which is fine.

[48:44] What about, you didn't say Nimrod.

[48:47] Don't love Nimrod, the Sentinel from the future.

[48:48] What about Nanny and Orphan Maker?

[48:51] Love Nanny and Orphan Maker.

[48:52] I love them. They're great.

[48:54] I mean, the thing is also,

[48:55] a lot of these characters have become quasi-allies.

[48:58] Adversary is a little bit vague, a little vague as a character,

[49:02] just kind of an evil demonic force, you know,

[49:04] vaguely, problematically indigenous, but not based on anything real, you know.

[49:09] All the other ones I keep, like...

[49:11] Sabretooth's in there, you know.

[49:12] Pierce, but he's a Hellfire Club guy.

[49:14] He's a Hellfire Club guy.

[49:16] Jason, what's his name, who's the mind control guy?

[49:19] Mastermind.

[49:20] Mastermind, yeah.

[49:21] But he's kind of Hellfire Club.

[49:22] He's also in the Hellfire Club at a certain point,

[49:24] and he's in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.

[49:26] Okay, well, I think we agreed to it.

[49:29] It took us long enough, I guess.

[49:32] I mean, more because we were having fun with it.

[49:33] Okay, swimming strokes.

[49:35] Top three swimming strokes.

[49:37] Crawl.

[49:38] Got to have the crawl on there.

[49:39] The crawl.

[49:39] Classic.

[49:40] The breaststroke.

[49:41] Breaststroke and the backstroke.

[49:44] What is it called?

[49:46] The butterfly can get the fuck out of here.

[49:48] Wow.

[49:48] Don't want it.

[49:49] Don't want it.

[49:49] Yeah.

[49:49] I actually kind of like the butterfly, but I don't think it's top three.

[49:51] I mean, it looks...

[49:52] All right, here's what depends on what we're talking about.

[49:55] It looks cool.

[49:56] It looks, but you don't want to do it.

[49:58] People who are good at it, they look amazing in the water.

[50:01] They look like dolphins.

[50:03] It's like in baseball pitching.

[50:04] There's like the signed winder pitches where they kind of throw it almost underhand to the side.

[50:08] It looks super cool when it works, but it doesn't work most of the time.

[50:11] And every time Sammy tries to do that when we're playing catch, it annoys the shit out of me.

[50:15] As a kid who was on swim team and had to learn all the strokes, Butterfly is a pain in the ass to do.

[50:24] I think I'm going to go with Dan's ranking.

[50:26] I think that's fine if Stuart's okay with it.

[50:28] Yeah, I'll go with it.

[50:29] I mean, specifically for having to do,

[50:33] but Butterfly's pretty cool.

[50:34] It looks pretty cool.

[50:35] Fully knowing the jokes to follow,

[50:38] I was a breaststroke man.

[50:40] That was...

[50:42] There's nothing you can joke about with that.

[50:45] It's not like if Dan was like,

[50:46] yeah, I was a wife's butt stroke guy.

[50:50] But to me, that's like the most natural feeling.

[50:53] You're like swimming like a little frog in the water.

[50:55] I agree.

[50:56] When I swim, I use the breaststroke, yeah.

[50:59] So...

[50:59] Because who wouldn't want to be a little frog?

[51:01] We all...

[51:02] We all want to be.

[51:03] I think deep down, we all...

[51:05] I think Freud talked about that, about how we all...

[51:07] No, Sigmund Frog actually talked about it.

[51:09] Sigmund Frog, yeah.

[51:12] Okay.

[51:13] Oh, Sigmund Frog.

[51:15] I feel like that's a character who's going to show up

[51:17] in the Battletoads movie someday.

[51:18] Okay, so top three books read for a high school English class.

[51:26] for high school English class.

[51:29] I mean, is it books that we liked at the time

[51:31] or that we look back on?

[51:33] We're planning a curriculum.

[51:34] We got to pick three books.

[51:35] Because I'm a big fan of The Great Gatsby,

[51:37] but I read it in high school and I didn't quite get it.

[51:39] Yeah, that's a banger.

[51:39] But then I read it as an adult and I'm like,

[51:41] this is an amazing book.

[51:42] This is a fantastic book.

[51:43] Yeah, that's probably number one with a bullet for me.

[51:46] Yeah.

[51:47] I just have such a bad memory of what these things were.

[51:53] What are you going to do, like do one of the Shakespeare's?

[51:57] Throw a Shakespeare in there?

[51:59] You could show a Shakespeare in there.

[52:01] You could throw a Shakespeare in there.

[52:03] I think for high school, you know what?

[52:05] I'm going to put Midsummer Night's Dream on there.

[52:08] I think that's a really good introductory Shakespeare.

[52:11] Okay.

[52:11] In high school, we read King Lear.

[52:15] We read Macbeth.

[52:15] We read Romeo and Juliet.

[52:17] But I think they're always like, Romeo and Juliet, that's about teens.

[52:21] You should read that one.

[52:22] And I'm like, this is not giving teens great ideas.

[52:26] But I'd love to get – let's see.

[52:29] We read Native Son in high school.

[52:31] Native Son, yeah.

[52:31] And I thought that was really great.

[52:37] No, I'm just like – I'm like, what were like the ones that definitely you had to –

[52:42] like I was never a Lord of the Flies guy and that was like –

[52:44] Oh, I love Lord of the Flies.

[52:45] That's a classic.

[52:46] But that's a middle school book.

[52:47] That's not a high school book.

[52:48] That's a middle school book.

[52:49] I mean adults can read it too, but I feel like that's a good middle school book.

[52:51] Yeah, what about like Portrait of the Artist or something?

[52:53] I never read it.

[52:54] Wow.

[52:55] I wasn't in that class.

[52:56] I've read very little Joyce.

[52:58] Oh, okay.

[52:59] Well, we'll talk about that another time.

[53:00] Okay.

[53:01] I've read a lot of Flann O'Brien.

[53:02] What about like some Virginia Woolf?

[53:06] I mean, Orlando would be a great one to put in there.

[53:09] You would appreciate the weirdness of this.

[53:11] I remember in high school, I read McTeague.

[53:14] McTeague's a good book.

[53:15] No, it's a great book.

[53:16] I had a great time.

[53:17] like looking back i'm like wow they made they had us read mct that's a weird book for that is a weird

[53:23] book for them to have you read like i mean it's a great book it's uh well it was the basis of the

[53:28] movie greed uh i think if it's known at all yeah it's mostly known as the base of greed again which

[53:34] means not but it's by frank norris and it is he was in the kind of jack london world but it but

[53:40] mcteague is all about a guy who is he's he's like an unlicensed dentist in kind of turn of the

[53:46] century san francisco and he and his wife win the lottery and the ownership of the money that they

[53:52] get they get it but they're afraid but they never want to spend it and the ownership of it essentially

[53:56] drives them mad and he ends up dying in death valley spoiler alert but uh mcteague's really

[54:01] aside from the anti-semitic parts mcteague is a really great book his book the octopus dan if you

[54:05] like mcteague i'd also recommend the octopus the first part of his trilogy of the wheat which went

[54:10] unfinished uh but the octopus is really good about farmers rising up against the railroad barons

[54:14] when they reset the rates for wheat.

[54:19] I always thought there'd be a really,

[54:20] there's a good miniseries to be done in the octopus.

[54:22] What about some Jane Eyre?

[54:26] Jane Eyre's really great.

[54:27] I could go on there too.

[54:27] What about Catch-22?

[54:30] Catch-22 is great.

[54:32] I could go on there too.

[54:33] I mean, like these are great books.

[54:35] I just don't, I did not,

[54:36] these were not ones that were.

[54:38] I took a different AP English class.

[54:40] Yeah, I guess so.

[54:41] I mean, if we're limiting it to this.

[54:44] We didn't read that in class.

[54:45] If we're limiting it to books that we read in class, then I would put Great Gatsby on there.

[54:51] I'd put Jane Eyre on there.

[54:53] Okay.

[54:55] What else would I put on there?

[54:56] Well, you already said Midsummer Night's Dream.

[55:00] Midsummer Night's Dream, but I'm wondering if I want that on there actually.

[55:04] I mean, I didn't read it in high school, but I love the books.

[55:07] I'm happy with Jane Eyre being one of them.

[55:08] Yeah.

[55:09] We read that in high school, and I didn't like it as much as I like it now.

[55:12] That's probably because I was like a teenage boy, and I was like, wah, wah, wah.

[55:16] I don't like Sinjin.

[55:17] I don't care about this.

[55:19] Get back to Rochester and his wife.

[55:23] She did what?

[55:24] Yeah, I'm having, like, I'm looking at all these lists, and none of them are, like, they're all things that I'm like, were these high school books?

[55:37] I remember Slaughterhouse-Five.

[55:38] Middle school books, or they're like...

[55:41] That's not for me.

[55:43] Yeah, like Slaughterhouse-Five is a high school book.

[55:46] I mean, I feel like Native Son was solid.

[55:50] Yes.

[55:50] I remember liking it a lot in high school.

[55:52] I'd put Native Son on there.

[55:53] I think that's a good one.

[55:55] Okay.

[55:56] And it has to be the unedited one

[55:57] where he and his friends masturbate in the movie theater.

[56:00] Yeah, yeah.

[56:01] Okay.

[56:02] Put that, Stuart, note that down.

[56:04] You can note that down, yeah.

[56:05] Not the edited one.

[56:06] where they don't do that, yeah.

[56:09] Okay, so we decided on that.

[56:10] Okay, next is bagel order.

[56:15] Top three bagel orders.

[56:16] Bagel orders?

[56:17] Like orders.

[56:18] I may have to step aside from this one.

[56:20] Or maybe type of bagel.

[56:20] Because I don't like having a lot of stuff in my bagel.

[56:23] I want to eat the bagel.

[56:24] What type of bagel do you like?

[56:27] What's the number one bagel?

[56:29] I mean, if I'm ordering a bagel,

[56:30] usually I'm just going to have plain bagel.

[56:31] I just want that platonic ideal of bagel, you know?

[56:33] Wow.

[56:34] And I just want to take bites out of it.

[56:35] Give me an everything, baby.

[56:37] I like it all.

[56:39] I would pick everything over plain.

[56:41] Yes, Stuart, shame the bagel order of the only Jew on the podcast.

[56:44] Yeah.

[56:46] I mean, I had a rabbi at my wedding.

[56:49] That's true.

[56:50] You did.

[56:52] You had a questionably licensed rabbi at your wedding.

[56:55] He had a badge.

[56:57] He did have a badge that said rabbi on it.

[56:59] This is not a joke.

[57:00] It just said Jewish.

[57:04] So what are we talking?

[57:06] I also do like that.

[57:07] If I said like blueberry, then yes, I would be in no place to talk about.

[57:11] I don't want that.

[57:12] What about like a pump?

[57:14] Look, if I'm not, what about a sesame?

[57:16] If I'm not getting in everything, I'm going to get a sesame or maybe an onion.

[57:20] The other thing is I'll eat an onion bagel.

[57:22] I'll eat a sesame bagel.

[57:23] I'll eat a poppy seed bagel.

[57:24] If I will have, I'll have lox on there.

[57:26] Why not?

[57:27] I'll put salami on there.

[57:28] Why not?

[57:29] You know, but, but if it's in the morning and I'm good at getting a bagel, I'm like,

[57:32] Give me a plain bagel, and I'm just going to take bites out of it.

[57:34] You just want a carb explosion.

[57:37] Exactly.

[57:37] You want nothing else.

[57:38] I want nothing but carbs, yeah.

[57:40] Yeah, wow.

[57:41] So you just want the unmolested bread is what you're—

[57:45] Yeah.

[57:46] Because, like—

[57:47] Not even cut?

[57:49] You could cut it, but I'm just going to eat it as if it wasn't, you know.

[57:52] Yeah, if I'm having a—

[57:52] We call it circumcised.

[57:55] If I'm having cream cheese, I would—

[57:57] Would this be counted as shul?

[58:02] Now, I don't—

[58:03] Lox is—yes, I agree with you on that.

[58:05] I mean, we are recording this—

[58:06] No tomato, please.

[58:07] We are recording this right before the High Holy Days.

[58:10] Rosh Hashanah starts tonight as of this recording.

[58:12] I'm really dating this recording by saying exactly what day it's on.

[58:18] I hope nobody decides to go back in time and kill us on this day.

[58:22] No, they'll know exactly where we were.

[58:26] I will say that—

[58:27] We're doing this for legal reasons in case we get caught in some kind of weird shenanigans.

[58:31] Exactly.

[58:33] Officer, I didn't prove that I was there.

[58:35] You can hear me reading that day's newspaper.

[58:38] I think I'll be more tolerant of other bagel stuff.

[58:41] So whatever you guys want, you know.

[58:47] Wow.

[58:47] I mean, now that Ellie doesn't care.

[58:49] I'm just trying to get written into the book of life this year, guys.

[58:51] Okay, so what are we saying?

[58:54] Our number one bagel order is everything bagel with cream cheese and lox?

[58:57] That's number one.

[58:58] With capers and onions.

[59:00] No, you know what, baby, I can't stand by this.

[59:03] That's the number one.

[59:04] Number two, we're putting plain bagel, nothing done to it.

[59:08] All right, at least it's on the list.

[59:10] Raw dog, plain bagel.

[59:11] That first bagel has too much stuff going on.

[59:13] And then third one is what?

[59:14] Bacon, egg, and cheese on a blueberry bagel.

[59:17] No, no, not at all.

[59:19] Why did I abdicate this responsibility?

[59:21] I just like some butter on a bagel, man, sometimes.

[59:25] Just a plain bagel with butter?

[59:27] I think sesame is good with butter.

[59:30] Okay.

[59:31] Okay, that's our top three.

[59:32] All right.

[59:33] I can't really stand by it, but let's keep moving on.

[59:35] Yes.

[59:36] Okay, cool.

[59:36] I'm just trying to be a peacemaker here, yeah.

[59:38] We are grinding our way through these.

[59:40] We only have a few left.

[59:42] Favorite boats.

[59:43] Top three boats.

[59:44] Now, are these specific boats by name or types of boats?

[59:48] These are types of boats.

[59:49] No greater expert than us when it comes to boats, boating, things not cool.

[59:55] Best boats, dude.

[59:56] You got to put, number one's got to be Pirate Ship, right?

[59:58] Oh, yeah.

[59:59] I think you're right.

[59:59] Three Mastodon Pirates.

[1:00:00] That's got to be number one.

[1:00:00] Now, where's the soup John B. figure in?

[1:00:03] Is that one of them?

[1:00:04] Is that a pirate ship?

[1:00:05] I mean, they want to go home.

[1:00:05] They don't want to be on it anymore.

[1:00:07] It is the worst ship they've ever been on, so probably not.

[1:00:08] So probably not, yeah.

[1:00:10] The worst trip, rather.

[1:00:11] What about like a cigarette boat?

[1:00:13] A cigarette boat?

[1:00:14] What about a gondola?

[1:00:16] Where does gondola fit?

[1:00:16] Gondola?

[1:00:17] I would probably put number two, even.

[1:00:19] Gondola.

[1:00:19] Okay, because there's a dude singing shit.

[1:00:22] He's singing, you're in Venice.

[1:00:23] How could it get better?

[1:00:25] Come on.

[1:00:25] Now, I like the shape of a swan boat, but I don't like all the pedaling I have to do.

[1:00:28] Yeah, you don't want to have to do the work.

[1:00:29] You're lazy, yeah.

[1:00:31] So, number one, pirate ship galleon.

[1:00:33] Number two, gondola.

[1:00:35] Number three, I mean, like a canoe or a kayak.

[1:00:37] I know that's work, too, but it's...

[1:00:38] Yeah, self-propelled, though.

[1:00:40] I don't know.

[1:00:40] Dan's putting a firm anti-self-propelled stick.

[1:00:43] I find kayaking a lot easier than using a pedal for those things.

[1:00:47] It's true.

[1:00:47] You do have a lot of that upper body strength.

[1:00:50] Yeah, and your lower body is weak and frail.

[1:00:53] Despite swans.

[1:00:54] He's like Johnny Bravo.

[1:00:55] He's like, actually, Danny Bravo.

[1:00:58] Danny Bravo, yeah, because he watches a lot of Bravo.

[1:01:01] Yeah, Dandy Cohen is what I call him because he watches so much Bravo.

[1:01:05] And you want to watch what happens live with Dan.

[1:01:08] The issue is that despite swans being well-shaped for swimming,

[1:01:12] swan boats are not well-shaped for swimming.

[1:01:14] No, because they're not really.

[1:01:16] The important part of the swan.

[1:01:17] The kayak slides through the water.

[1:01:19] What's the park?

[1:01:20] Isn't there like a famous like pond in LA where they have the swan boats?

[1:01:24] In Echo Lake Park.

[1:01:25] Echo Lake.

[1:01:26] Echo Park Lake.

[1:01:27] Echo Park Lake.

[1:01:28] Yeah.

[1:01:29] There's also like the duck boat in Boston, you know, but.

[1:01:33] But we still haven't picked a third.

[1:01:34] But an Echo Park is where we go when we do paddle boats.

[1:01:36] Do we want to say kayak is our third?

[1:01:38] I'm a kayak fan.

[1:01:39] I don't know.

[1:01:39] Cause there's also like, what about like.

[1:01:42] An aircraft carrier.

[1:01:43] What about like a paddle boat?

[1:01:44] Like a Mark Twain style paddle boat, you know?

[1:01:47] Like steaming down the Mississippi.

[1:01:48] Like a fucking casino.

[1:01:49] Exactly.

[1:01:50] There's a casino on board.

[1:01:51] Those are pretty good.

[1:01:52] Maybe some kind of old-timey vampire lives there.

[1:01:54] Maybe.

[1:01:55] And there's like ladies doing can-can type dances.

[1:01:58] Maverick shows up.

[1:01:59] You know, yeah.

[1:01:59] A fan boat.

[1:02:00] You know Maverick is there.

[1:02:01] If a fan boat's around.

[1:02:02] A fan boat is pretty good.

[1:02:04] You're going to get in a high-speed chase.

[1:02:05] Something's going down.

[1:02:06] You might get eaten by an alligator.

[1:02:07] Something's going down your headchase or like a sweaty noir or like something sexy is happening.

[1:02:12] Nothing good has ever happened to anyone on a fan boat.

[1:02:14] No, it's true.

[1:02:16] Well, I went on a fun swamp tour on a fan boat.

[1:02:19] I do like the idea of pirate ship gondola fan boat.

[1:02:25] What a wild collection of options.

[1:02:30] I think let's go with it.

[1:02:32] It's like when you see two dogs next to each other,

[1:02:35] a Chihuahua and a Great Bernard, you're like,

[1:02:37] those are the same animal.

[1:02:39] It's the same animal, yeah.

[1:02:41] I'm going to give an honorable mention to Paddle Boat Steamer.

[1:02:43] Okay, sure, yeah.

[1:02:44] Okay.

[1:02:45] And then finally, top three colors.

[1:02:47] This is the last one.

[1:02:49] Top three colors.

[1:02:50] Blue.

[1:02:51] I'm going green.

[1:02:52] I'm going green, baby.

[1:02:54] Green's great.

[1:02:55] Blue's got to be on there.

[1:02:57] I will back you on green, Stuart.

[1:02:58] And even though, like, it's a cliche, I think blue, you got to go with blue.

[1:03:03] It's a classic color.

[1:03:04] I mean, it's a victory for blue both ways because you need blue to make green.

[1:03:09] Yeah.

[1:03:10] Now we need a warm color.

[1:03:11] I know blue is the warmest color.

[1:03:14] Only in certain circumstances, yeah.

[1:03:16] I'm pushing for pink.

[1:03:17] Only when it's Lea Seydoux's hair, yeah.

[1:03:19] I'm pushing for pink, guys.

[1:03:20] Pink's a great color.

[1:03:22] I do like pink.

[1:03:23] Like a bright color.

[1:03:24] Pink is a great one.

[1:03:25] I often think pink.

[1:03:26] I think it would either have to be pink or black.

[1:03:28] Black is also a great color.

[1:03:29] But some people would tell you that it's not a color.

[1:03:32] They're wrong.

[1:03:33] Yeah, they're wrong.

[1:03:35] I'm pushing for pink.

[1:03:36] I'd go with pink.

[1:03:38] Pink and black are the two most punk colors,

[1:03:40] so I'll go with pink, yeah.

[1:03:41] Okay, we decided.

[1:03:42] We cleared the whole docket, guys, and this—

[1:03:46] You can't say that. You can't say that.

[1:03:47] Judge John Hodgson's coming after us.

[1:03:49] Oh, no.

[1:03:49] Well, we cleared the whole mail bag.

[1:03:54] So this will, and this document now,

[1:03:56] is going to be live on forever as our rankings of all those things.

[1:04:01] This is canon, except for the bagels one.

[1:04:03] And will also potentially serve as an alibi for us in those situations.

[1:04:07] And if you have any problem with these rankings,

[1:04:09] you can write it on a little piece of paper.

[1:04:11] You can take that paper out to the backyard or any park next to you.

[1:04:14] You can dig a hole and bury those complaints.

[1:04:16] You and Dan, you were so much nicer than I was going to be.

[1:04:19] I was going to be like, you could write it down on a piece of paper and then you could just shove it up your butt.

[1:04:23] Okay, we already have, those are the top two responses, two of the top three responses for ways to say fuck off.

[1:04:32] Anyway, this is a good time for us to say, please leave a five-star review on the podcast app of your choice.

[1:04:38] We love you, even though we're sometimes combative.

[1:04:42] But see how we are with each other.

[1:04:43] We're always combative.

[1:04:44] It makes you feel like you're part of the gang.

[1:04:46] So this has been a mini episode of the Flophouse Podcast.

[1:04:49] We are part of the MaxFun Network.

[1:04:51] There are plenty of other great shows.

[1:04:52] Just go over to MaximumFun.org and check them out.

[1:04:54] This show has been produced by Alex Smith,

[1:04:56] a.k.a. Howell Doughty.

[1:04:58] He does all kinds of great stuff online

[1:04:59] in addition to producing this lovely podcast

[1:05:02] that is your favorite podcast ever.

[1:05:04] He also does Twitch streams.

[1:05:06] He does music.

[1:05:07] He's the greatest.

[1:05:08] And then, you know what?

[1:05:11] I've been, I've just been Stuart Wellington.

[1:05:13] I've just been Dan McCoy.

[1:05:16] I think I'm almost ready to be Elliot Kalin, guys.

[1:05:19] Okay.

[1:05:20] Well, on that note, bye.

[1:05:28] Maximum Fun.

[1:05:29] A worker-owned network.

[1:05:31] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:05:32] Supported.

[1:05:33] Directly.

[1:05:34] By you.

FH Mini 159 - Clearing the Floppet

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