FH Mini 155 - Summer-y Judgments

[0:00] hello everybody welcome to another flop house mini my name is elliot calen i'm joined today

[0:10] by dan mccoy and stewart wellington hey what's up what's up yeah dan do you want to say what's up

[0:16] what's up they did it now you know all of us can say what's up as the undertones once saying

[0:23] the summer's really here and it's time to come out time to discover what fun is about this

[0:27] episode is coming out in august of 2026 right it's summer guys we're solidly in the summer so i

[0:33] thought let's talk a little bit about summer not mark summers former host of nickelodeon's double

[0:39] dare that's not what i'm talking about okay but i talked about summer the season first off before

[0:43] we talk about movies what are your associations you guys with the summer when you think summer

[0:48] what do you think and not ancient sumeria summer the season uh i i have strong associations um

[0:56] from childhood with doing my favorite thing to do during the summer,

[0:59] which is to sit inside where it's air-conditioned

[1:03] and read and watch television for hours on end.

[1:08] A classic indoor kid, yeah.

[1:11] Go to the, I remember going to the pool that my parents were members at.

[1:16] Sure.

[1:16] Going to like day camps and spending time outside,

[1:22] doing sports and yard chores.

[1:25] steward i'm gonna ask the yard chores are the ultimate sport yeah everybody wins they get a

[1:30] clean yard yeah i'll ask in a second about your uh summer vacations but i uh my own we're very

[1:36] midwestern which is why i'm curious about yours like it was not you know we're not gonna fly

[1:41] anywhere fun or anything like that we would get we pile in the car what's the nearest beet farm

[1:46] let's go there in my family we would drive to the upper peninsula of uh minnesota where my dad

[1:54] I'd like to go to a cabin and fish on a lake.

[1:57] And I'm not saying I didn't enjoy being on a lake and swimming in the lake.

[2:01] And I didn't love being in a cabin because, again, I was an indoor kid who liked comfort.

[2:05] But the swimming stuff was fun.

[2:06] Unlike modern Dan, who's kind of a rough and tough as nails guy.

[2:09] Yeah, real Bear Grylls type character, yeah.

[2:12] But I really, to this day, I hate road trips because I remember being so bored in the car as a kid.

[2:18] You didn't like reading the car?

[2:20] I did.

[2:21] I did not have trouble with motion sickness for the most part.

[2:27] I read and I enjoyed that part of it, but I would still get very antsy.

[2:31] Yeah, I'd like crack the spine on some like Roald Dahl book.

[2:35] I'm sure I tore through.

[2:37] Tore right through that sucker.

[2:39] So, yeah, I mean most of my –

[2:43] So, Daddy Wellington, he was not very big on spending money on things.

[2:50] So we did not have – if we like went away, it would either be to go visit family who did not live on lakes or we would be going to like soccer tournaments.

[3:01] The only lakes you had as a kid was Land O'Lakes Butter.

[3:04] That's true.

[3:05] No, well, I had a neighbor who had a lake cottage and sometimes I would get to go up and spend time with him at theirs.

[3:11] But my family did not have a tradition of going anywhere nice for ourselves because we don't deserve it.

[3:20] But a lot of my travel, especially as I was a young teenager, was going to soccer tournaments with a bunch of all my other soccer boys.

[3:29] Yeah, and my summers were – growing up on the East Coast, it's a very – especially Jewish, it's a very summer camp, sleepaway camp thing.

[3:38] We would do driving trips sometimes, but they would just shuffle us off for four to eight weeks or three to six weeks, the summer camp.

[3:46] Wow.

[3:47] And every now and then I would run away, get kicked out, you know, the different ways of leaving early.

[3:52] I've heard these tales, but that's a long time to be at a camp.

[3:56] Like I would go to a church camp, which was just normal camp, but sometimes there was Bible verses.

[4:02] And that was like one or two weeks of camp.

[4:06] Oh, wow.

[4:06] The first time I ever went to summer camp.

[4:08] It's kind of like getting that burger is like a normal burger place, just with Bible verses.

[4:11] Exactly, exactly.

[4:12] The first time I ever went to summer camp, the camp I went to,

[4:15] You could choose between a four-week session or an eight-week session.

[4:17] So the first time I was away from home, it was for a month.

[4:20] And I really liked it that first year, but there were things in other years.

[4:24] But anyway, I ask because, again, it's the summer.

[4:28] But, of course, on this podcast, we don't usually talk about our summertime memories

[4:31] or the summertime blues, which sounds like Dan had quite a bit of when he was a kid.

[4:35] We talk about movies.

[4:37] Usually we watch a movie and then we talk about it.

[4:39] But this time, I want to talk about summer movies.

[4:41] What movies are about summer

[4:44] and whether they reflect our summer experiences?

[4:46] Not summer blockbusters.

[4:48] I feel like there's two different kinds of summer movies.

[4:51] We've mined that territory.

[4:53] Exactly.

[4:53] We've talked about the summer blockbusters.

[4:55] Your Jaws is.

[4:57] Your Armageddon's.

[4:58] ID4's.

[4:59] You're on Golden Pond.

[5:00] Your ID4's, yeah.

[5:02] On Golden Pond,

[5:03] the scene at the end where they realize

[5:05] that the pond is golden

[5:05] because the local sewage lines

[5:08] have been pouring into it.

[5:10] it really hurts that movie in a big way yeah yeah um and so i want to talk about movies about the

[5:16] summer we're going to look at a few i'm going to look at a few but then i just mean i'm going to

[5:19] mention them and i want you to tell me have you seen this summer movie if it's if it represents

[5:25] the kinds of summers you're familiar with and if it isn't if you'd want your summer to go that way

[5:31] is this a fantasy of a summer you wish you could have had uh and if we have time there might be

[5:36] more for us to do but let's let's take a look i think the um uh we i received a number of emails

[5:40] about how long our gem and the holograms episode ran and so and they're like do more they're like

[5:46] more of that please um so we'll see how long this one goes uh no i dan i actually haven't received

[5:51] any emails about it so don't worry i've heard only positive things probably because the only

[5:56] people who listen to it are weirdos like me but uh there's a reason some every now and then i'm

[6:03] glad that our podcast is not distributed in syndication on public radio and i think that

[6:09] was not one of them i really wish more people could learn about that jamming the holograms

[6:13] um so let's take a look uh let's talk about summer movies and again the questions are

[6:18] have you seen this movie okay can you does it relate to your idea of summer would you want

[6:24] your summer to go that way and the first of these movies of course actually i'm going to ask you

[6:28] When you think of movies about summer, what is the first movie that comes into your mind?

[6:34] One Crazy Summer.

[6:35] Stand By Me.

[6:37] Okay.

[6:37] Well, Stand By Me would be a good one to talk about.

[6:39] We're only talking about movies with summer in the title, unfortunately.

[6:42] But One Crazy Summer.

[6:43] I missed that part.

[6:45] Let's start with One Crazy Summer because that's on my list.

[6:48] I have never seen One Crazy Summer.

[6:50] Have you seen this movie?

[6:51] Yes.

[6:52] Is it crazy?

[6:53] Does it feel – what's this movie about?

[6:54] What goes on in it?

[6:56] This is –

[6:58] it's it's it's a you know it's another savage steve holland movie it's the one of his that i

[7:03] haven't seen because i've seen better off dead and uh and you know actually better off and how

[7:07] i got into college yeah yeah and of course i was a big viewer of eek the cat when it was on tv yeah

[7:11] i don't believe that there's no like you know there's no continuity they're just similar styles

[7:18] but they're very similar styles like this is you know in the same vein as better off dead uh just

[7:24] It's like wacky stuff happening.

[7:28] John Cusack's in it.

[7:29] There'll be animated stuff for no particular reason.

[7:34] That's art, dude.

[7:36] Taylor Negron shows up in it, right?

[7:38] I see him in the cast list, yeah.

[7:40] It's, you know, they go to the beach for the summer

[7:44] is essentially the plot of that movie.

[7:47] Along the way, he picks up a hitchhiker

[7:50] played by Demi Moore, and there's some romance.

[7:54] I believe he's also getting over a breakup in this picture as he was in Better Off Dead.

[8:00] And by him, I mean John Cusack.

[8:01] John Cusack really had a lockdown on, like, Lovelorn fools.

[8:05] Mm-hmm.

[8:06] And there's, like, you know, there are a lot of zany, like, subplots that string through the movie.

[8:11] Like, there's a character who's trying to win a radio contest, be the first caller.

[8:17] Oh, because I was going to say, you could just buy a radio.

[8:19] There's a bit with, like, Godzilla costumes, yeah?

[8:21] Yeah, at one point, Bobcat Goldquake gets stuck inside a Godzilla costume and rampages through some sandcastles.

[8:30] Okay, so is this what your experience of summer was like?

[8:34] Getting stuck in a Godzilla costume and rampaging the sandcastles, trying to win radio contests, trying to get over lost loves with the help of Demi Moore?

[8:42] Other than, like, when I was, like, two, I think, and my parents went to California.

[8:49] You got stuck in a Godzilla costume?

[8:51] When he was two years old, he and Demi Moore had a thing.

[8:54] No, like when I was too young to really remember it.

[8:57] There was that period where she was into younger guys, you know.

[9:00] My parents went to California with the family when I was too young to really remember it.

[9:04] There was a Disneyland trip.

[9:06] There was the beach.

[9:07] I have only the most fleeting memories of these things.

[9:09] That must hurt so bad to know that you don't remember your trip to Disneyland.

[9:13] It did.

[9:13] I wanted to go back for years.

[9:16] I finally like 20 years ago I went to Disneyland.

[9:21] But I really don't think that I went to the beach again until I was like a teenager.

[9:30] So this was not my experience of what the summer was like.

[9:34] And Stuart, you already said your summers were not spent hanging out at the beach.

[9:37] No, I mean, this is that type of like, this is the type of movie,

[9:42] this is a movie I saw when I was younger than, you know,

[9:45] John Cusack's character is supposed to be in it.

[9:47] So it was that like, oh, this is what being a high school kid is going to be like.

[9:53] This is what being a teenager is going to be like.

[9:55] And, of course, that's not what it was like for me at least.

[9:58] But, you know, John Hughes movies had lied to me as well.

[10:02] So I was used to it.

[10:03] You're used to being lied to about what it's like to be a teenager.

[10:05] Whereas I was mostly lied to by Saved by the Bell about what it was like to be a teenager.

[10:09] You just walk into the principal's office all the time.

[10:12] You didn't really have to go to class that much.

[10:14] your school would only have like six students with names

[10:16] and everybody else was just kind of NPCs

[10:19] wandering around and bumping into walls

[10:20] and things like that.

[10:22] The school would be attached to a diner of some kind

[10:25] where you could just go whenever you wanted.

[10:28] So that's One Crazy Summer.

[10:29] So would you like your summer to be like that?

[10:31] Would you like to have a crazy summer?

[10:33] Just listen to the title, One Crazy Summer.

[10:36] Doesn't that sound fun?

[10:37] I mean, that could easily be the title of something

[10:39] where a madman is on the loose with a knife on the beach.

[10:43] I guess so.

[10:44] I think that's one bloody summer.

[10:46] That's true.

[10:46] And I think also that it's limited.

[10:48] You know this is just one crazy summer.

[10:50] Not every summer is going to be like this.

[10:52] This isn't your whole existence.

[10:53] The thing is it makes it all the sweeter knowing that it's limited.

[10:57] Exactly.

[10:57] Just like life, you know.

[10:59] Just like life.

[11:00] Well, let's – okay, so one crazy summer, not representative,

[11:03] but you would want to have that as your summer.

[11:05] Elliot, now that I know the rules, I have an answer for your initial question.

[11:09] Oh, shit.

[11:10] Okay, that has to have the word summer in the title?

[11:12] I know what he's going to say.

[11:13] I knew exactly what he was going to say.

[11:15] That was the other one I assumed you were going to say.

[11:17] That was the first one written on my list was Summer School

[11:20] because I figured that would be what...

[11:22] So again, Summer School from 1987.

[11:25] This guy's forced to teach Summer School.

[11:28] It is a movie that's mainly montages.

[11:30] Yes, like Rocky IV.

[11:32] It is very montage heavy.

[11:33] It is carried on a wave of just like lighthearted charm.

[11:38] Not a lot of incident or death, but...

[11:41] Well, what they call Charmin, which is the charm of Mark Harmon.

[11:44] Yeah.

[11:45] So, guys, so you've seen summer school, right?

[11:48] You've seen it before.

[11:48] So many times.

[11:49] Yeah.

[11:50] So, is it representative of your summer?

[11:51] Did you ever have to go to summer school?

[11:55] I never went to summer school.

[11:56] I definitely had to go to summer school, but it wasn't like that.

[12:00] It wasn't that fun and cool.

[12:01] You didn't meet Chainsaw there?

[12:02] I didn't meet Chainsaw.

[12:03] I didn't meet a guy who was moonlighting as a stripper.

[12:06] Yeah.

[12:07] There wasn't an narcoleptic kid, you know.

[12:09] There was the same kid.

[12:11] I'm talking about the same guy.

[12:12] This is like a high school, right?

[12:14] Yeah, yeah.

[12:14] So that one of them is a stripper is weird, right?

[12:17] I mean, he's got to be 18, right?

[12:19] I guess, but even so, that seems...

[12:21] You would hope, yeah.

[12:22] I certainly hope so.

[12:23] I hope that the strip club that he's at

[12:25] is checking his ID to make sure that he's legal age to work.

[12:28] Yeah, all male review, yeah.

[12:29] Yeah.

[12:30] So I have never been to summer school.

[12:32] The closest that I ever was

[12:33] was when I worked for the Board of Education for a summer,

[12:36] just helping around in their office.

[12:37] Because even when I was young,

[12:39] I was ready to get into the working world.

[12:41] and become the workaholic that I am today.

[12:44] When I was in college, I took a May term.

[12:46] I took a May term.

[12:47] What is a May term? Tell me what that is.

[12:49] You had the option to take one extra month of school

[12:54] where you were focused on a particular class.

[12:55] To get into the women's production program or something?

[12:58] I was like, give me more school, please.

[12:59] That's the nerd.

[13:01] What was your May term?

[13:03] It was a film class.

[13:04] I did an art class May term.

[13:07] It was awesome.

[13:08] It was like a month of getting hammered.

[13:10] Yeah, let's hang out on campus longer.

[13:12] I didn't want to go home.

[13:13] Yeah, I didn't have anything like that.

[13:14] Instead, I merely doubled up on classes so I could get out early.

[13:19] And I would have taken advantage of that.

[13:20] And then I worked during the summer because, again, workaholic.

[13:22] I've got to take jobs.

[13:23] I think that people, I mean, like I've heard this from Audrey as well.

[13:25] People who go to like school in the city have such a different experience of college.

[13:31] Yes.

[13:32] For me, I was like, this is the most fun.

[13:34] Like this is the most fun thing.

[13:35] Like I'm away from home.

[13:36] I'm, you know, like there's not anything interesting going on outside of campus.

[13:40] Like I just want to be on campus where all my friends are mostly unsupervised.

[13:45] I mean, going to a traditional liberal arts college is probably the best training for living in a sort of George Romero living dead dystopia.

[13:55] You're just in kind of like a walled compound that you don't leave.

[13:58] You're just hanging out there doing all your stuff.

[14:00] Because going to school in the city, certainly at NYU, there was no campus really at the time.

[14:05] and the student center had been torn down

[14:07] when I was a freshman

[14:08] and would not be finished being built.

[14:09] By Timothee Chalamet, right?

[14:10] Yes, by Timothee.

[14:11] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[14:12] Because they told him not to take a bath,

[14:14] but he filled up the bathtub anyway.

[14:16] There's ballet and opera happening.

[14:18] And he said, not on my watch.

[14:20] And so it really did feel like I live in New York

[14:23] and my day job is I go to college.

[14:25] Like there was not much,

[14:26] not the same kind of student life.

[14:28] I bet if I had looked for it,

[14:29] I would have found it,

[14:30] but I didn't look for it.

[14:31] And you were walking around

[14:32] with your like little man briefcase and everything.

[14:34] You're like, I'm a grown-up.

[14:35] You don't need to belittle them like that.

[14:37] No, but I mean, I feel like that's the thing.

[14:39] No, it was a Little Man tape-branded briefcase.

[14:41] Oh, okay.

[14:42] I got you.

[14:43] It was just accurate.

[14:44] Yeah, and I traded in for one branded from the movie Little Man.

[14:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[14:47] Yeah, college kids' brains aren't fully...

[14:49] No, not Little Big Man.

[14:50] I didn't want that big a briefcase.

[14:52] Like, college kids' brains haven't fully developed.

[14:54] Like, you're still getting wrinkles in there, you know?

[14:56] You're not a real...

[14:57] Like Little Big Man.

[14:58] Yeah.

[14:59] Had so many wrinkles.

[15:00] He has so many wrinkles when he's old, yeah.

[15:03] So, summer school, is that how you would want your summer to go?

[15:07] You're with all these, you know, goofy characters.

[15:10] They are pretty fun.

[15:11] You're being taught by Mark Harmon.

[15:12] Yeah, I don't like the school part of it.

[15:14] I do like the freedom of the summer.

[15:17] But these are some pretty great...

[15:19] It's near the beach, right?

[15:21] I think so, yeah.

[15:23] And I forget, there's a dog on the poster.

[15:25] I forgot, is there a dog in the movie, too?

[15:26] He's got a dog, yeah.

[15:27] You get to hang out with Courtney Thorne-Smith.

[15:29] That's true, and Dean Cameron.

[15:31] Yeah.

[15:32] Dean Cameron, like, Dean Cameron's pretty cool.

[15:35] I'd do it for a summer.

[15:36] Yeah.

[15:37] Just for one summer.

[15:39] Come on.

[15:40] Just one crazy summer school.

[15:42] Come on, you could do it.

[15:43] Yeah.

[15:43] Now, would you rather be in this one crazy summer summer

[15:46] or the summer school summer?

[15:47] I think still one crazy summer.

[15:49] I think I would get too antsy in class all day.

[15:53] Yeah, I think you're right.

[15:55] All right, moving on to another summer movie.

[15:57] This one, strangely enough,

[15:58] is probably of all the ones we're going to talk about today,

[16:00] the most representative of my summers growing up,

[16:04] and that is Wet Hot American Summer.

[16:06] Oh, I thought it was going to be Summer of Sam.

[16:09] Well, stay tuned, stay tuned.

[16:10] But yeah, Wet Hot American Summer,

[16:12] which I'm sure you guys have both seen probably, right?

[16:14] Sure. Plenty of times.

[16:16] Yeah, plenty of times from 2001,

[16:19] featuring many members of the state, but not all of them.

[16:21] This is Stewart's offensive Irish character, Plenty of Times.

[16:24] Oh, I've seen that Wet Hot American Summer.

[16:28] Many a me's.

[16:29] This is Stewart's character who's always late to everything.

[16:31] Oh, I could get there.

[16:33] I could get there.

[16:33] I don't have to leave yet.

[16:34] I got plenty of time.

[16:37] Plenty of time.

[16:38] The movie is supposed to start at six o'clock.

[16:40] I don't have to leave till 5.55.

[16:43] Oh, wow.

[16:45] There's a boatload of trailers before the thing

[16:48] and ads for GMC trucks.

[16:51] I don't need to sit through Nicole Kidman

[16:53] telling me about the movies one more time.

[16:55] I'm already going to the movies.

[16:56] I figure I could leave when the movie announces starting

[16:59] and I'll get there right as the movie itself starts.

[17:02] We're going to get so many angry letters.

[17:05] So many angry letters from the-

[17:06] It's a meme depiction, yeah.

[17:07] Yeah, meme.

[17:10] It reminds me of a-

[17:11] Unflattering depiction.

[17:12] When I was doing the Who Was podcast,

[17:15] the Who Was show podcast, which was a quiz show,

[17:19] we were always talking about which people to do.

[17:21] And one of the people that we covered was Ernest Shackleton,

[17:23] who of course, who was Irish.

[17:25] And they were like, well, who should we have play him?

[17:27] And I was like, I'll just do it.

[17:28] Oh, me boat.

[17:29] Oh, no.

[17:30] Oh, me boat's stuck in the ice.

[17:32] Oh, no.

[17:32] And they were like, please don't do that ever again.

[17:35] Killian Murphy will come and kill you.

[17:37] He'd be so mad.

[17:38] He's like, now you know what I mean.

[17:39] They call me Killian.

[17:41] So Wet Hot American Summer, you guys have seen it.

[17:44] I feel like this is so clearly a bunch of people

[17:47] who have been to an East Coast summer camp

[17:49] because there's so much stuff that's specific

[17:51] to what it's like to go to one of those camps.

[17:53] Did you guys feel at all, could you relate to it at all?

[17:57] Since I don't think you guys had that experience, you know.

[18:00] Well, I mean, the camps that I went to, I mean, I think it was just the one church camp,

[18:05] was not so oriented toward that many activities.

[18:11] Like camps I always see in movies where it's like, okay, now it's the day that we all go boating.

[18:17] And like now's the day that like we're playing our baseball game.

[18:20] It's where we make bug juice or whatever.

[18:23] Yeah, whatever.

[18:23] I mean, those camps, it's like multiple activities per day.

[18:26] You are busy and you're real tired at the end of it.

[18:29] Yeah, yeah.

[18:29] Yeah, you got to tucker them kids out so they don't get in trouble.

[18:32] You got to tucker and Dale versus Evil those kids, yeah.

[18:35] Yeah, I think it was like structured enough that what we did,

[18:38] but like it was structured within that structure was a lot of like,

[18:42] yeah, just, you know, do what you want.

[18:45] Just hang out in the woods.

[18:47] See, I wonder if because the East Coast camps are really based around this

[18:50] tradition of like kids from the cities need a place to go in the summer and experience the

[18:56] outdoors so it really does feel still it's like it's like we got to pack in all the outdoor stuff

[19:00] that you would normally have in a year if you didn't live in the city into you know a month

[19:04] or something like that or two months you know um but so but stewart what about you is it you said

[19:09] you traveled to a lot of soccer games yeah so well my wife went to a uh east coast jewish uh

[19:15] summer camp so she has a very like me yeah uh had a very you know that was a very important part of

[19:21] her life and still informs a lot of her life to this day um but i i went to soccer camp which

[19:28] would be like a two-week thing where it would be like the activities you're doing it's more soccer

[19:32] let me look at the schedule for today

[19:36] We would stay in like...

[19:41] Hitting a ball with your head.

[19:43] We'd stay in like empty summertime college dorms.

[19:48] Ain't no cure for a summertime college dorm.

[19:51] But when I actually saw Wet Out American Summer,

[19:55] I was living in Pennsylvania and my girlfriend at the time

[19:57] was working as like a camp director or assistant camp director

[20:03] at like an East Coast camp.

[20:06] This one was a Quaker camp, I believe.

[20:10] So when I would go to visit her and I would see the camp,

[20:13] I was seeing the movie roughly around the same time.

[20:16] I was like, ah, this all makes sense.

[20:18] Uh-huh.

[20:20] And so I have a question for you.

[20:21] The camps that you went to, Dan, did they ever have like color war?

[20:24] That's a huge thing in the East Coast camps when you do color war.

[20:27] No.

[20:27] I don't even know what that is.

[20:29] The whole camp is split up into two sides where you're represented by a different color,

[20:33] and it's just for like two or three days.

[20:36] It's just competitive challenges between these two teams.

[20:40] And everybody, everyone in the camp gets really into like being on a side.

[20:43] It's such a, it's such an easy sociological experiment.

[20:46] It's to teach you to hate.

[20:47] Yeah, basically.

[20:48] They're like, you're red, you're blue.

[20:50] And it's like, oh, we hate you so much now.

[20:52] Yeah, exactly.

[20:53] But they didn't have that.

[20:56] Yeah.

[20:56] No, no.

[20:57] I probably would have gotten super into it though, I bet.

[21:00] Oh, for sure.

[21:01] Yeah.

[21:01] You're really competitive in those kind of environments.

[21:03] You would have been baying for blood.

[21:04] Yeah.

[21:04] My main, the main appeal of camp to me was like, I don't know, maybe a girl will kiss me.

[21:12] Maybe that'll happen.

[21:13] Did it ever happen?

[21:14] No, but I got to hang out with a lot more girls in a way where like years of lack of social capital wasn't hindering me.

[21:25] Well, and also you grew up in a town with very few girls.

[21:27] I mean, it was known as the testosterone capital of America.

[21:30] And I remember you talking about how your mom had to be hidden away at times

[21:33] because girls were not allowed into the town after sundown.

[21:36] And so, yeah.

[21:38] I don't even understand this bit.

[21:39] No, I don't get it either.

[21:41] But I was just curious about that.

[21:43] Anyway, so moving on to the next movie.

[21:46] It's interesting.

[21:47] Ellie, were you super into the color war?

[21:49] I think everybody would get into color war.

[21:51] There was something about being on a side and being,

[21:54] it was like, oh, I have acceptance for three days

[21:56] because everyone knows I'm part of this.

[21:57] And especially once I went, the camp I went to last, I could do, there was like a, there was like a storytelling competition one time.

[22:07] And it was like, oh, I can do this.

[22:09] And I blew people away with that.

[22:10] Like that was the one time I was in like a camp competitive activity where I defeated, like just dominated the other side, you know.

[22:17] Not just wrestling.

[22:18] It was that too.

[22:19] Yeah, yeah.

[22:20] I mean, also, I mean, also we did a lot of like that kind of like greased up oil wrestling they do in kind of like Turkey or Greece.

[22:26] Yeah, yeah.

[22:27] We would do a lot of that, and there I would just dominate also

[22:29] because people would look at me and they'd go, oh, he's small.

[22:31] I can take him.

[22:32] But I would actually –

[22:33] But you're lithe.

[22:34] I'm lithe, but also I could – because I was so greased up,

[22:36] it was easier for me to get inside the other person's body through their mouth or their anus

[22:40] and just start attacking their organs on the inside, which they have no defense for.

[22:44] Once you're inside somebody –

[22:46] It's very soft in there.

[22:47] It's very soft.

[22:48] They have no defense.

[22:48] And every move you make, every breath you take, you'll be hurting them.

[22:52] There's no – again, all you have to do is flick your fingers

[22:56] and you're going to hit something that hurts.

[22:58] So, yeah, yeah.

[22:58] And my finishing move was always when I would then,

[23:01] I mean, I would cheat a little bit

[23:02] and then I would bring a hand drill with me.

[23:04] And my finishing move would be to drill a hole

[23:06] through their chest and then just rip my way out.

[23:08] Oh, I thought you would use like an old-timey saw

[23:11] and saw an Elliot-shaped hole for you to step on.

[23:14] I mean, if I had the time to do it,

[23:16] but you can only do that once

[23:16] before they start to realize you're going to do that trick.

[23:19] And then they go, hold on.

[23:20] As soon as you start sawing, they pull the saw out

[23:22] so that you can't use it anymore.

[23:24] Yeah, yeah.

[23:24] Yeah, that makes sense.

[23:25] That's a more decisive counter strategy.

[23:28] Camp memories.

[23:29] So, Stuart, it makes sense that you meant,

[23:30] it's helpful that you mentioned Pennsylvania

[23:32] because our next movie is Hotel Transylvania 3,

[23:36] Summer Vacation.

[23:37] Oh, okay.

[23:37] Now, this is the movie where they're not at the hotel.

[23:40] Okay.

[23:42] Well, the movie, I think that one of them

[23:44] feels like a misnomer.

[23:45] Feels like a misnomer, right?

[23:45] Like, I haven't seen the sequel.

[23:47] A cruise ship is basically a hotel.

[23:49] Okay.

[23:50] But they're not at the Hotel Transylvania, you know.

[23:52] Oh, okay.

[23:53] So, have you guys seen, obviously, you have-

[23:54] It didn't, like, uproot from the coast like a Nagarothi black ark from the worlds of Warhammer?

[24:01] No, it's just a regular cruise ship.

[24:03] Okay.

[24:03] Yeah, yeah.

[24:04] I watched the first Hotel Transylvania because I—

[24:07] Not the one we're talking about.

[24:08] I believe it's a Ginny Tarkovsky movie.

[24:11] It is, yes.

[24:12] And you wanted to understand the setting of all the fan art you've been looking at.

[24:19] Enjoying in an adult way, yeah.

[24:21] Yeah.

[24:21] Well, it's not sexy if you don't know the story behind it.

[24:24] Thank you.

[24:25] That's true.

[24:26] Thank you, dude.

[24:27] You need to know the context.

[24:33] That's why when you flip through Playboy, you're like, but where are they from?

[24:37] Are they monsters?

[24:39] Are they girls of the Southern Conference or not?

[24:42] Do they work for Target?

[24:43] What's going on?

[24:44] Come on.

[24:46] Anyway, I saw that movie.

[24:48] This was another Genndy Tartakovsky movie.

[24:50] He did the first three movies.

[24:51] I thought that movie was fine, but it did not inspire me to seek out any of the sequels.

[24:57] So I have not seen this one.

[24:59] I haven't seen any of them.

[25:00] You haven't seen any of them.

[25:01] They're fine.

[25:02] They're all right.

[25:02] You know, they're not bad.

[25:05] I think you're not the target audience, Stu, as an adult without children.

[25:09] Yeah.

[25:10] Or a man with a child's mind like me.

[25:13] Exactly.

[25:15] So you haven't seen them, but you can imagine it's about monsters on a cruise ship.

[25:20] does this represent your summers i know you guys have been on cruises i know dan

[25:24] performed in a singing competition on a cruise i've seen the ocean over here yeah were there

[25:29] any monsters on the cruise with you did you feel like a monster i mean i feel like you go on a

[25:34] cruise you're gonna meet some monsters um wow but uh yeah yeah like when um when uh that recent

[25:42] cruise ship with what patty lapone wouldn't be allowed to dock because of uh it was trying to

[25:47] docking turkey and they're like you can't have a gay

[25:49] cruise docking what the fuck

[25:51] that was not okay I haven't heard that story but

[25:53] the monsters were the people on the shore not on the ship

[25:55] they weren't on the boat yeah it wasn't

[25:57] like the movie the uninvited with where there's a

[25:59] monster cat on a boat you know

[26:01] oh yeah whatever happened

[26:03] to that thing

[26:04] I think they killed it

[26:07] and this is not the ghost

[26:09] movie with Ray Moland the uninvited which is a much

[26:11] better movie so I will tell you

[26:13] or ghost ship for that matter

[26:15] it's not ghost ship

[26:17] the movie that is

[26:18] one really good scene

[26:20] but yeah

[26:20] they have a bad

[26:21] they have one bad night

[26:23] of dancing

[26:23] on that cruise

[26:24] one really good sequence

[26:26] similarly

[26:28] the one good scene

[26:29] in a

[26:30] in a

[26:31] Freddy takes

[26:32] in Jason takes

[26:33] I was gonna say

[26:33] Freddy takes Manhattan

[26:33] in Jason takes Manhattan

[26:35] is on a ship

[26:36] on the dance floor

[26:37] there's a

[26:37] there's a really good kill

[26:38] on the dance floor

[26:39] but anyway

[26:39] okay so

[26:40] what's the deal

[26:41] with this thing

[26:42] is it like

[26:43] just a series of monsters

[26:44] doing things

[26:44] where you're like

[26:45] oh wow yeah

[26:46] I guess the invisible

[26:46] man would be invisible in this situation i mean and dracula falls in love with the great

[26:52] granddaughter of abraham van helsing his uh okay and that's that's uh that's the sandman right

[26:58] adam sandler does the voice man adam sandler is still doing the voice in this one uh still all

[27:02] the same stars adam sandler andy sandberg uh selena gomez stevie semi uh david spade kevin james

[27:10] and that's much better than getting professional voice actors right

[27:14] I mean they're at least

[27:16] I mean eventually

[27:17] that's what they did do

[27:18] because I think

[27:19] in the fourth one

[27:19] I think Adam Sandler

[27:21] stops voicing Dracula

[27:22] I think it is

[27:23] one of the times

[27:24] that Sandler

[27:25] seems engaged

[27:26] I mean also like

[27:28] Sandler released

[27:28] comedy albums

[27:29] like he's done

[27:30] comedy voice work

[27:31] you know

[27:31] but so he does voices

[27:33] but so would you guys

[27:34] want to be monsters

[27:35] on a cruise ship

[27:36] or to be on a cruise ship

[27:37] full of monsters

[27:37] I mean I've always

[27:38] wanted to be a monster

[27:39] like when I was a kid

[27:39] I would read like

[27:40] stupid little YA books

[27:42] since I was a kid

[27:42] I wanted to be a monster

[27:44] ghoul fellas

[27:47] but no

[27:50] like I feel like

[27:51] when I was a kid

[27:52] if there was like

[27:53] I don't know

[27:53] like a little kids book

[27:54] about like

[27:55] oh no you're a vampire

[27:56] now I'd be like

[27:57] I'm reading a hundred of these

[27:58] yeah you want that

[27:59] yeah

[27:59] now imagining

[28:00] in ghoul fellas

[28:01] about the guy

[28:02] ever since I was a kid

[28:02] I wanted to be a monster

[28:03] that when Joe Pesci's character

[28:05] he goes

[28:05] what am I a scary clown to you

[28:07] yeah

[28:08] like the clown from It

[28:10] like the clown from It

[28:11] am I a pity wise to you

[28:13] Is this like a house of a thousand corpses or something?

[28:17] Am I some sort of terrifier?

[28:22] So, Dan, would you want to be a monster on a cruise ship?

[28:24] Yeah, you know, with Stuart, I've always wanted to be.

[28:28] Have you ever been on a cruise, Elliot?

[28:30] Yes, I've been on a couple of cruises.

[28:32] We went on a couple of cruises when I was a teenager.

[28:35] That might have been it.

[28:36] It was on one of those cruises that I bought a piece of art that still hangs in my hallway.

[28:39] which is a reproduction

[28:40] cell from one of the

[28:42] Hunters Trilogy

[28:43] Chuck Jones cartoons.

[28:44] Oh, it's not

[28:45] anthropomorphic

[28:45] olives playing pool?

[28:48] No, it's not.

[28:49] Of course,

[28:50] I have my other

[28:50] painting of

[28:51] Humphrey Bogart,

[28:52] James Dean,

[28:52] Elvis,

[28:53] and Marilyn Monroe

[28:53] all sitting around.

[28:55] And Heath Ledger's

[28:56] the Joker.

[28:57] Yeah.

[28:58] I told you guys,

[28:59] I've talked about this

[28:59] on the podcast before,

[29:00] but there's an ice cream

[29:01] place in Sonoma,

[29:02] California.

[29:02] I don't think it's there

[29:03] anymore.

[29:03] It was a yogurt place.

[29:04] Maybe it's still there.

[29:05] I've been there all the time.

[29:06] Like a Greek yogurt place?

[29:08] No, no, no.

[29:08] Like a frozen yogurt place.

[29:10] Yeah, we would just go in for a big cup of Greek yogurt.

[29:14] It's really good for your gut biome.

[29:16] A frozen yogurt place.

[29:17] And they had those pictures.

[29:18] It was like 50s vintage style themed.

[29:20] And they had those paintings up.

[29:21] And in one of them, you could see if you looked at it closely that Humphrey Bogart was holding a newspaper with the headline about September 11th on it.

[29:28] And I was like, wait a minute.

[29:29] What's going on in this picture?

[29:31] Yeah.

[29:32] Well, he came unstuck in time.

[29:34] Yeah, unstuck.

[29:35] I mean, he's hanging out with people.

[29:36] That must have fucking flipped him out.

[29:38] Yeah, he's like, oh, no, it's terrible.

[29:40] So anyway, so we'll all be monsters on cruise ships.

[29:42] I've been on cruise ships.

[29:43] As a kid, I didn't like them.

[29:45] Now I think I might like them a little bit, you know,

[29:46] the same way that I never wanted to go to, like, an all-inclusive resort.

[29:50] But last year, we went to Hawaii.

[29:51] We took the kids to an all-inclusive resort.

[29:53] It was great.

[29:54] It was the perfect place for them.

[29:55] Well, that's the thing.

[29:56] Like, I always, you know, I read, what, the—

[30:01] Supposedly fun thing.

[30:02] I'll never do it again.

[30:03] David Foster Wallace.

[30:04] David Foster Wallace.

[30:05] That's what I was trying to think of.

[30:06] Yeah, I read that essay.

[30:07] David, Australian for beer, Wallace.

[30:09] Uh-huh.

[30:10] And I found it very, like, you know, interesting and funny.

[30:14] And, like, I always assumed that would be my attitude about being on a cruise.

[30:18] And I've been on two now, and I'm like, no, I mean, like, yeah, there's a lot about this that's tacky.

[30:26] And, like, obviously, it's pitched to the widest, you know, swath of people that it can unless it's, you know, the JoCo cruise, which is very specific, which is one of the cruises I was on.

[30:35] But I get why people, like, are snobby about this.

[30:39] But you also, if you expect that,

[30:42] if you're like, yeah, I'm just going here

[30:45] to, like, not fucking think about anything.

[30:48] Yeah.

[30:49] There's a value to that as well.

[30:50] You're on goddamn vacation.

[30:52] Like, come on.

[30:53] Fuck you for judging.

[30:55] This is just a place where you sit around

[30:57] and stare into space and just shovel food in your gullet.

[31:00] Yeah.

[31:01] It's called leaving the pain of life for just a little bit.

[31:04] And at least the fucking scenery changes.

[31:07] I mean, I guess, unless you're on one of those cruises

[31:09] where it's just the ocean for a long, long time.

[31:11] Yeah, but that's, you're not seeing that

[31:13] outside your fucking home window.

[31:15] No, that's true.

[31:15] It's a different place.

[31:17] It reminds me of, like,

[31:20] you could say the same thing about, like,

[31:22] French fries and chicken fingers and hot dogs,

[31:24] where it's like, yeah, man, I know,

[31:25] it's not like the fanciest, best food.

[31:27] I'm not going to eat it all the fucking time.

[31:28] I'm not going to eat it constantly.

[31:29] Every now and then you want something like that.

[31:31] So take that, the late David Foster Wallace.

[31:34] Now, of course, he was also dealing with his own demons

[31:36] that I think made it harder for him

[31:37] to enjoy those types of pleasures.

[31:39] Yeah, like the demons from the Buffy TV show.

[31:41] Yeah, well, he had an Asmeranian inside of him.

[31:43] That was part of the problem, yeah.

[31:45] So let's go to,

[31:46] we're going to go to one more movie before the break

[31:49] when we're just going to update you

[31:50] on what's going on with the Flophouse.

[31:52] This is a movie mentioned by Stuart earlier,

[31:54] Summer of Sam.

[31:55] Now, of course, this is...

[31:57] This is not true to your summer experience, Elliot.

[32:01] I mean, the only reason it's not true to my summer experience is I was not alive in 1977.

[32:06] So I didn't experience the New York City blackout or the murder spree of the son of Sam.

[32:12] Guys, have you seen this movie?

[32:14] Yes.

[32:15] Okay.

[32:16] Does it represent the way summers were for you?

[32:19] Just hot in the city, murder on the loose, tension everywhere?

[32:25] No, I did not grow up in any sort of urban environment and there was no serial killer.

[32:31] everyone was afraid of okay so just that one serial killer that everyone was friendly with

[32:35] yeah well we understood why he was doing it and you know he kept it to the right people so um

[32:42] no you just got one of dexter's it's okay yeah i got a dexter uh no i i think that it would be

[32:49] hard to come up with a summer movie that was less like my experience yeah i mean this didn't speak

[32:54] to my uh childhood or teenage experience but as an adult living in new york i've had some hot

[33:00] summers and we've experienced blackouts there right you guys were there for the 2004 blackout

[33:05] right oh that was a different thing i had to walk from midtown back to park slope oh wow what a nice

[33:11] walk i mean if you want to do it it's not yeah it got pretty tiring by the end i just had to walk

[33:17] from from midtown to uh to upper east side just which was great that was a that was a different

[33:23] kind of blackout that was such a friendly blackout everybody kind of like got along and was comfortable

[33:27] with each other

[33:27] it was very sweet

[33:29] Dan was that the

[33:29] but on that walk

[33:31] did you keep like

[33:32] doing pirouettes

[33:33] in the street

[33:34] being like

[33:34] I've made it

[33:35] to Manhattan

[33:36] that's right

[33:36] I'm throwing my hat

[33:38] up in the air too

[33:38] yeah I mean

[33:39] that doesn't happen

[33:41] in a show

[33:41] I know it's not

[33:42] in New York

[33:42] yeah that's not

[33:43] in New York

[33:43] yeah

[33:43] I'm just going

[33:45] with the vibe man

[33:46] I think so yeah

[33:48] and so

[33:50] so Summer of Sam

[33:52] let's just say

[33:53] is that the way

[33:53] you would want

[33:54] your summer to go

[33:55] would you like

[33:56] your summer

[33:56] to be a Summer of Sam

[33:57] Well, I feel like there's a lot of cocaine involved.

[34:01] Is that a plus or a minus?

[34:03] I'm going to say a minus at this age.

[34:06] Studio 54, Plato's Retreat, or both?

[34:09] I think they go to both, yeah.

[34:12] They try to go to Studio 54, that's right.

[34:14] Yeah, they try to go and they end up at Plato's Retreat.

[34:16] That stuff seems sort of interesting for some reason.

[34:19] They go to CBGB's, but they don't like it.

[34:21] Yeah, but the – yeah, being constantly afraid of someone murdering you seems unpleasant.

[34:27] No, I'm going to guess that the Plato's –

[34:29] In a city on fire, you know?

[34:30] Yeah, and I'm going to – the only city on fire I want is the music from Sweeney Todd.

[34:36] Oh, yeah.

[34:37] I'm guessing, Dan, that the – I'm guessing the Plato's retreat experience was not a pleasant one.

[34:40] It was not pleasant for the characters in that movie, no.

[34:43] No, or probably in real life, I'm guessing.

[34:45] It was part of their disillusion as a couple, I think.

[34:48] Yeah, yeah.

[34:49] Now, and was Play-Doh there often or does he just stop by every now and then?

[34:53] The same way that like – because it's not like –

[34:54] Oh, it's Play-Doh the guy and not the like putty.

[34:58] Not the putty, yeah, exactly.

[34:59] Oh, I thought that's what it was.

[35:01] A Play-Doh retreat is where you – that would be fun.

[35:03] Where you just like lie down and –

[35:05] That sounds great.

[35:06] You just saw the Play-Doh, right?

[35:07] Yeah, or just, you know, it's just molding around you while you do it.

[35:10] Yeah, of course.

[35:11] Because it's like when Grandpa Al Lewis from the Munsters had a restaurant.

[35:14] He would be at the restaurant and he'd interact with people.

[35:16] But was Play-Doh there at Play-Doh's retreat?

[35:18] how you doing hey was he dressed as grandpa al from the monsters was he in the costume yes well

[35:24] i mean he wouldn't be in the costume but he would he was called grandpa al all the time when he ran

[35:28] for there was a way he ran for the mayor of new york once and the big thing was he wanted to be

[35:31] on the ballot as grandpa al lewis and it was it was a big argument about whether he could be

[35:35] listed as grandpa was his restaurant in new york it was in new york yes okay so it's like a jack

[35:41] on hides thing where he's in costume i don't think he was in costume that's what i'm saying

[35:47] but did they wear costumes at check on hides they did wear costumes at check on did you guys ever

[35:51] go there i sure did i didn't i'm so upset yeah i went it was pretty awesome i went when i was

[35:57] probably like 15 or something with my family and it was it was so much we went to the really big

[36:02] one too like there were two of them we went to the big one it was so much fun it was so cheesy

[36:06] it was really fun and then when i went to mars 2112 later as a as a college student i was like

[36:11] No, no.

[36:12] I've been to Jekyll and Hyde's.

[36:13] I've seen this done right.

[36:15] I've seen it done well.

[36:16] This is not doing it for me.

[36:16] See, the tech ship's on fire, baby.

[36:18] I don't need this.

[36:18] I've seen things you couldn't imagine.

[36:21] The Jekyll and Hyde floor show.

[36:26] Yeah.

[36:27] Those words just conjure something in my brain.

[36:30] Yeah, now those memories, they just melt away like teardrops in the rain.

[36:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[36:35] Dan, you would have really...

[36:36] I think, Dan, I wonder when you...

[36:37] If you went when you were young, I think you would have been like,

[36:39] ugh, they're not treating the monsters with enough

[36:41] respect. But if you went now, I think you'd really enjoy

[36:43] it. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist

[36:45] now, so you can't go now. Maybe I can find something on

[36:47] YouTube. Maybe there's something about it. I bet you

[36:49] can. I'm sure. Now,

[36:51] while Dan looks up Jekyll and Hyde's

[36:53] restaurant, for anyone who's not familiar with this,

[36:55] this was a

[36:56] kind of like horror-themed

[36:58] stunt restaurant in New York

[37:01] that was as if you were going to a private

[37:03] club where every day

[37:05] Dr. Jekyll performed his experiment

[37:07] and turned into Mr. Hyde. It was like

[37:09] an even more intense

[37:10] like Chuck E. Cheese

[37:13] or like

[37:15] Rainforest Cafe. Even more intense

[37:17] than Chuck E. Cheese?

[37:18] Better believe it, dude. It was like Chuck E. Cheese

[37:21] for twisted guys. Like you'd see Cormac McCarthy

[37:23] in a corner booth just watching the floor show.

[37:25] Slamming down a Heidberger or whatever.

[37:29] You don't want

[37:29] the Heidberger. Get the Jekyll

[37:31] Burger. Oh, no. The Jekyll Burger

[37:33] with the one with wild sauce on it.

[37:36] The Heid one

[37:37] is evil.

[37:39] So let's take a brief break just to remind you, the listener, that you don't just have to listen to The Flophouse.

[37:45] You can also watch it in person on September 18th if you're in Louisville, Kentucky on that date because The Flophouse will be appearing live, our first live show in months, in Louisville, Kentucky at Whirling Tiger.

[37:57] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[37:59] It's Friday night, September 18th.

[38:01] We will be there.

[38:02] We're gonna be talking about the movie Glitter

[38:04] starring Mariah Carey.

[38:05] And we'll be joined by special guest Howell Doughty.

[38:09] That's right, the Howell Doughty we talk about

[38:11] at the end of each episode will be there with us.

[38:13] What is he gonna do?

[38:15] We have to figure it out.

[38:16] All we know is we're gonna be there yucking it up,

[38:18] having fun.

[38:19] It's gonna be great.

[38:20] Come see us.

[38:21] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events

[38:23] for tickets to see us live in Louisville, Kentucky.

[38:25] And also, if you wanna see us,

[38:27] but you don't wanna see us in person,

[38:30] let's just say a little birdie told me

[38:31] that Flop TV is coming back.

[38:34] Flop TV season four is on its way to you.

[38:37] That's our one-hour TV online internet broadcast version

[38:40] of the Flophouse.

[38:41] And what link can people go to

[38:43] to buy tickets for that dance?

[38:45] Well, as of this recording, it doesn't exist,

[38:47] but I think there's a very good chance

[38:50] that by the time this is going to be released,

[38:53] we will have set up a link

[38:55] and maybe we can record a drop to insert here.

[39:00] theflophouse.simpletix.com

[39:04] theflophouse.simpletix.com

[39:05] But if you didn't hear it,

[39:06] we didn't have that link yet.

[39:08] As with before,

[39:10] we will be doing,

[39:10] it'll be the first Saturday

[39:11] of each month,

[39:12] September through February,

[39:13] and we've got a really fun theme.

[39:15] Should we talk about the theme yet

[39:16] or should we save that

[39:17] for next time?

[39:18] No, we can, like,

[39:19] hey, if we're teasing it,

[39:20] we can announce the theme,

[39:21] you know,

[39:22] get everyone excited.

[39:24] We're used to talking about

[39:25] the worst movies.

[39:26] How about the best movies,

[39:28] best pictures, that is.

[39:29] That's right.

[39:30] The Flophouse is going to take on the best pictures that are maybe the worst best pictures.

[39:36] And we're going to do an episode for each of these.

[39:38] Let's not say the movies yet just yet.

[39:40] Let's let people marinate on that.

[39:41] But you know what?

[39:43] We may finally have our reckoning with a certain best picture winner that I'm not sure actually exists as a real movie.

[39:50] We're going to prove it.

[39:50] I think it's an elaborate psyop, and we'll find out if it's a real movie or not.

[39:54] So that's Flop TV Season 4 coming your way.

[39:57] Link insert here.

[39:59] PopHouse.SimpleTix.com.

[40:02] And go there to buy tickets.

[40:04] As always, you can get individual episodes or a season pass.

[40:11] In 2026, our comedy podcast, Sawbones,

[40:15] is one of the most reputable sources for medical information.

[40:18] Does that make me feel great?

[40:20] No.

[40:21] No, me neither.

[40:22] But I do like to think we're doing our part

[40:24] in making sure that we're fighting

[40:25] the pseudoscientific misinformation

[40:27] that has pervaded modern society.

[40:29] Yeah, but we're doing our part over here on Sawbones every week,

[40:32] a marital tour of misguided medicine.

[40:34] It's not all serious stuff.

[40:35] We're still getting into all the wild, weird ways

[40:38] we used to try to heal people over the years.

[40:39] But we're also trying to keep tabs on the evolving situation.

[40:44] Yeah, we can talk about drinking raw milk and eating mummies.

[40:47] It's Sawbones.

[40:47] That's right, it's Sawbones.

[40:49] It's every Tuesday, and it's on MaximumFun.org

[40:52] or wherever you get a podcast these days.

[40:54] All right!

[40:56] On Judge John Hodgman, the courtroom is fake, but the disputes are real.

[41:02] Brian would say I'm the Gumby of this family.

[41:05] He's just not.

[41:06] Claiming to be Gumby is an un-Gumby-like claim.

[41:11] No, it's just Gumby and I being our authentic selves.

[41:14] So what's your complaint? Too many sauces?

[41:16] There are no foods on which to put the sauces.

[41:20] Have we named all the sauces on the top shelf yet?

[41:21] Not even close.

[41:23] You economize when it comes to pants.

[41:26] Truly, it's not about the cleanliness of the pants.

[41:28] Well, why isn't it?

[41:29] This is what I want to know.

[41:31] Judge John Hodgman.

[41:32] Fake court.

[41:33] Weird cases.

[41:34] Real justice.

[41:36] On MaximumFun.org, YouTube, and everywhere you get podcasts.

[41:41] Now let's get back to the Flophouse Mini,

[41:43] unless you guys have anything personal you want to talk about?

[41:45] Nope.

[41:46] All right.

[41:47] Yeah, let's talk about our feelings.

[41:49] That's what this podcast needs.

[41:50] No, let's do it in the context of the show, like usual.

[41:52] Okay.

[41:53] Let's talk about more summer movies.

[41:55] We've got a few more summer movies we're going to talk about whether you've seen them, whether they represent your summer.

[42:00] Would you like them to be your summer?

[42:03] Whether you see it and wouldn't want to be it or whether you see it and would want to be it.

[42:09] This first one coming up, guys, when we talk about movies with summer in the title, I'm just going to have to say that I know what you did last summer, which is also the title of this movie.

[42:20] So have you guys seen I Know What You Did Last Summer?

[42:22] Now, for the record, I'm talking about the original and not the sequel, which has the same title.

[42:27] But it's not a remake, right?

[42:28] It's a sequel.

[42:28] Well, no, there's I Still Know is the sequel, and then there's the –

[42:32] The legacy sequel.

[42:33] Yeah, the legacy sequel.

[42:34] The legacy sequel.

[42:34] But I'm talking about the original 1997 I Know What You Did Last Summer, not the 2025 I Know What You Did Last Summer, which is a sequel to I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

[42:42] You better believe I saw I Know What You Did Last Summer.

[42:47] I was in college when it came out.

[42:50] Everyone was excited about Kevin Williamson because he wrote Scream and made Dawson's Creek on the TV.

[42:58] And you're like, yeah, he's doing another horror movie.

[43:01] And Scream, undeniable.

[43:03] Yeah, no, Scream, still great.

[43:05] Still works.

[43:06] There's a reason they've done eight of them, one of which ripped me off.

[43:09] But otherwise, maybe it's not eight of them.

[43:11] How many have they done?

[43:11] I would say they made, what?

[43:13] They made six, seven?

[43:16] I don't know.

[43:16] Hey, Stuart, stop trying to get on this young people's six, seven grid.

[43:20] but the last two yes have been dog shit so i know you did so yes there's a reason that there's a

[43:27] reason they made so many that first scream is undeniable for sure yeah but i know what you did

[43:30] last summer did you have the same experience as with scream did you laugh did you scream did you

[43:35] walk away saying kevin williamson has done it again oh did i have the same no i mean it's it's

[43:39] fine it's a fine like silly glossy slasher movie it's not that good but uh i like seeing some of

[43:46] The actors in it?

[43:47] Uh-huh.

[43:48] At the time of its release,

[43:49] I had moved on to harder, stranger things

[43:52] that you could find deep within the bowels of my video store.

[43:56] But not the show Stranger Things,

[43:57] which would not exist for quite some time.

[43:59] No.

[43:59] I was wrong.

[44:00] I'm sorry.

[44:01] I thought I Know What You Did Last Summer was a sequel to

[44:02] I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

[44:04] It's a sequel to I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer,

[44:06] which was the third movie in the series.

[44:08] I haven't even seen the third movie.

[44:10] That one I have not seen.

[44:11] Oh, no, you know what?

[44:11] It's a direct-to-video standalone sequel.

[44:14] Okay.

[44:14] So it's actually, you know what?

[44:15] It's not part of the main last summer continuity.

[44:18] Now, does it bother you at all?

[44:19] Dan, I imagine this would bother you, that they keep saying last summer when it is a fact at this point many summers ago.

[44:25] Yeah, people pointed out that it should have been I know what you did the summer before last.

[44:30] I still know what you did the summer before last.

[44:33] But, yeah, that first I know what you did last summer sequel is a great bad movie.

[44:41] Like that is a fun bad one if you're looking for a dumb thing for your Halloween.

[44:45] That title is just, like, perfect for scary movie-esque type bullshit jokes.

[44:51] Yes, yeah, exactly.

[44:53] I have to—I saw—I know he did last summer.

[44:55] I don't remember it that well, to be honest.

[44:57] It's got the, like, fisherman, right?

[44:58] Fisherman with a fishhook.

[45:00] Gorton's Fisherman is after them with a fishhook.

[45:02] Yeah, exactly.

[45:02] Because they, like, hit someone with their car, right?

[45:04] Yeah, it's got him.

[45:05] It's got him.

[45:07] They hit him, right?

[45:09] Him, yeah.

[45:10] But it's not him who's after—it's not like—he's not back from the dead.

[45:13] it's somebody it's what someone wants revenge right yeah someone wants revenge but yeah and

[45:18] they got you know you got your big 90s teen stars jennifer love hewitt sarah michelle geller

[45:22] freddie prince jr ryan philippe everyone with three words in there yeah johnny galecki's in

[45:29] there yeah yeah you've got really got yeah wow so you have a yeah so is that representative of

[45:35] your summers did you ever hit someone with your car and then and then they wanted revenge on you

[45:39] the next summer yeah sure let me tell you about it we got what we need swarm swarm swarm uh yeah

[45:48] no it was worth doing this podcast for 19 years or so to get that confession i never uh lived in a

[45:55] fishing village on the coast i never hit anyone with my car i never i mean i mean i've hit other

[46:04] cars with my car accidentally from time to time did you ever do something during a summer that

[46:08] you were ashamed of

[46:09] and you hoped

[46:09] people didn't know

[46:10] about?

[46:12] During the summer.

[46:15] So I hit a guy

[46:16] with my car

[46:17] haven't we all

[46:18] but my experience

[46:19] is more like

[46:19] infinity pool

[46:20] than

[46:20] I thought yours

[46:21] was more of a

[46:22] stuck experience

[46:23] where he was

[46:23] he was still

[46:23] halfway through

[46:24] the windshield

[46:24] and you just

[46:25] left him in your

[46:25] garage.

[46:26] My experience

[46:27] was more like

[46:28] should we exchange

[46:29] insurance?

[46:31] No it doesn't

[46:31] look like there's

[46:32] really any damage.

[46:33] Okay well see ya.

[46:35] And he probably

[46:36] forgot about it

[46:36] so he didn't know

[46:37] what he did last summer.

[46:37] Is this what you

[46:38] want you would want your summer to be like that you cover up a crime and then you have to pay for

[46:42] it afterwards yeah when you think you're you've gotten away scot-free and then a murderer comes

[46:47] and kills all your friends and potentially you certainly not the pay for it part yeah you'd like

[46:53] to get away with it is what you like sewing but reaping is less fun yeah all right okay well

[46:59] perhaps um perhaps this will be more to your liking um the this is a movie that's also about

[47:06] summer but it's not about interesting it's not about a crime that's committed but it is maybe

[47:10] about a summer where boundaries are pushed and that's summer lovers from 1982 starring peter

[47:15] gallagher daryl hannah and valerie quinnison how do you guys have you seen this movie are you

[47:20] there's no way dan has not seen this i was shown this by um our av uh expert uh the man behind the

[47:30] scenes also a flop tv matt matt carmen and uh he's car he's man he's all mad uh casinha a whole

[47:38] human being in her own right as uh hodgman would say um yeah we watched it i was i gotta say i was

[47:44] annoyed at this movie this is a movie about a uh a threesome that really like backs off on the uh

[47:49] on the threesome it's about what's about it's about there's two two americans who are on

[47:54] vacation in greece right and they meet a lady that they're attracted to and and they have a

[47:59] A summer of sexual experimentation.

[48:01] Yeah, I don't think they, like, yeah, it never really, like, heats up to the point that you would expect from the setup, I would say.

[48:10] I don't think things are consummated fully in the way one who was brought into the theater with the promise of erotic secrets.

[48:18] You don't see it happen.

[48:20] You don't see the things that you want to have seen.

[48:22] So, Stuart, you've never seen this movie.

[48:26] Dan, you've seen it, probably seen certain parts of it more than other parts of it.

[48:29] It's not really that much of a – anyway.

[48:33] So is this like your summer?

[48:35] Have you ever gone to Greece and had a summer of sexual experimentation and erotic adventurism?

[48:41] Yeah, and I got – like I left learning more about myself and my body and the bodies of the people close to me.

[48:47] Oh, right.

[48:47] It's a Randall Kleiser movie from the director of Mac and Me.

[48:51] Oh, yeah.

[48:51] Oh, right.

[48:52] Oh, that's right.

[48:53] he also did

[48:55] I mean also directed

[48:56] Grease

[48:56] so

[48:57] oh wow

[48:58] you know

[48:58] the Blue Lagoon

[48:59] Flight of the Navigator

[49:00] White Fang

[49:01] wow

[49:02] bangers

[49:05] bangers all

[49:06] he did Mac and Me also

[49:07] damn

[49:09] yeah

[49:10] I

[49:10] wait

[49:11] didn't he

[49:12] am I thinking of someone else

[49:13] I think you may be thinking

[49:14] of someone else

[49:15] let's look it up

[49:16] this is

[49:16] no

[49:19] I am thinking of someone else

[49:20] no you're thinking of someone else

[49:21] that's Stuart Raffel

[49:22] who directed

[49:23] Oh, right, right.

[49:25] Randall Kleiser, I mean, you would probably know him best

[49:27] from Big Top Pee Wee, you know?

[49:32] I think there's a similar vibe to their name somehow, but yeah.

[49:37] He directed Honey, I Shrunk the Audience.

[49:40] Grandview USA.

[49:42] Because he directed Honey, I Blew Up the Kid.

[49:43] He did a lot of stuff.

[49:45] Yeah, he's working, you know?

[49:47] Anyway, but Stuart...

[49:49] So I've gone on one of these things.

[49:51] Dan, what about you?

[49:52] Was that your summer experience?

[49:56] My erotic adventures did not take place in Greece, no.

[49:59] So it's entirely unlike anything in my life.

[50:04] All right.

[50:04] I will also say this is not particularly relevant to my career, my life career.

[50:11] Is this how you would want your summer to go, guys?

[50:14] Always.

[50:15] Hell yeah.

[50:17] Wait, Peter Gallagher is in the mix?

[50:19] Yeah, Peter Gallagher is in the mix.

[50:21] Yeah, he's a charming fellow.

[50:25] Did I tell you guys about the terrible play I saw

[50:28] because of Peter Gallagher?

[50:30] It wasn't the revival of Guys and Dolls he was in,

[50:33] which was perfect.

[50:34] No, no, no.

[50:34] Just a masterpiece, yeah.

[50:36] Very important piece of my theater-going history.

[50:39] This was the Seussical.

[50:40] He was in the Seussical.

[50:41] Be sure to get upset about a thing I'm not saying.

[50:44] Dan, how dare you slander

[50:45] maybe one of the greatest musical revivals there ever was.

[50:48] No, we were looking through like the discount tickets on Theater Development Fund.

[50:54] And Audrey's like, do you want to see this?

[50:56] Is this interesting?

[50:57] Like, and I was like, I don't want to see that thing.

[51:00] But what about this thing?

[51:01] And it was called Left on 10th.

[51:04] And it was written by Delia Efron, which was, you know, part of why I was interested in it.

[51:10] And Peter Gallagher was one of the stars.

[51:13] And I'm like, how could this go wrong?

[51:15] And it was, you know, they tried.

[51:18] And God bless him.

[51:19] Peter Gallagher gave whatever charm that thing had.

[51:23] But it was one of these things where it's just like, Delia, this is very dramatic.

[51:27] This is very dramatic, this thing that happened to you.

[51:30] But you've barely like turned it into theater.

[51:34] Like this is – you're too close to the material.

[51:37] And it was one of the worst things I've seen on Broadway.

[51:39] And I just really enjoyed – bad to the point that I was kind of enjoying it by the end.

[51:46] Because there are like these elderly women behind us who, you know, we're in some sort of Broadway club.

[51:53] I could overhear them starting going, it's not very good, is it?

[51:57] I mean, hearing older Broadway theater goers talking about a play when you're not doing a play is one of the greatest things.

[52:04] Yeah.

[52:04] Yes.

[52:05] I had many conversations like that with my own grandmother when we would see plays that we were not loving.

[52:11] But Peter Gallagher, he's fantastic.

[52:12] i've had some interaction with peter gallagher i'll say and wonderful just seems like a wonderful

[52:17] guy uh okay so summer lovers you guys are all on board for that now what if it was what if there

[52:23] was a sadder version of that kind of summer that's what we're talking about summer of 42

[52:27] this is from 1971 it's a coming age coming of age film about it's during world war ii but these are

[52:33] some teenagers they're not young enough to go off to the fight and they really want to lose their

[52:37] virginity and one of them does with a with a woman who whose husband is off at war and she's waiting

[52:41] for him to come back

[52:42] and it's mainly about,

[52:44] well, you guys have seen this,

[52:45] this is mainly about

[52:46] disappointing first sex experiences.

[52:49] I have not seen this.

[52:50] I haven't seen this one.

[52:51] All right.

[52:51] Is it representative of all

[52:53] of your experience?

[52:54] Did you, when you were a teenager,

[52:55] did you ever have a

[52:56] brief fling?

[52:56] Have a disappointing

[52:57] experience?

[52:58] A brief disappointing fling

[52:59] with, I mean,

[53:00] Yeah, as a teenager.

[53:04] That's what happens.

[53:05] Was that disappointing experience

[53:06] with the wife of a soldier

[53:08] who was off at war?

[53:10] No.

[53:11] Okay.

[53:11] Thank goodness.

[53:12] But you did have disappointing sexual experience.

[53:14] Although I like to think I could have brought her some comfort.

[53:17] Yeah, yeah.

[53:18] Sure, sure.

[53:19] Is this something that you would have wanted in your summer?

[53:21] This kind of like, kind of, you know.

[53:24] Yeah, probably.

[53:25] When I was a teenager, I was an idiot.

[53:28] You grow up fast after an experience like this.

[53:30] Like you enter the summer teenager and you leave it an adult, you know.

[53:34] Is that what you wanted?

[53:34] It sounds kind of like it would linger with me in a sad way.

[53:38] Yeah, I think so.

[53:39] Probably.

[53:40] About the, you know, the space between two people.

[53:45] Every now and then you'd look back on it with a wry smile of regret, you know,

[53:49] but it made you what you are today,

[53:51] a big Fox News-watching, MAGA-enthusiast old man.

[53:55] Wow.

[53:57] That infers a lot about my future, but that's okay.

[54:01] I mean, the future of you, the guy who was a teenager in 1942.

[54:04] Oh, right.

[54:04] Yeah, it didn't happen.

[54:05] We don't have to go back in time to stop it, Stuart.

[54:07] I mean, to be honest, if you're a teenager in 1942, you'd be 100 years old now.

[54:10] So there's, you know, probably not doing much of anything.

[54:12] So you'd be waiting for fucking Al Roker to show up

[54:13] with your fucking bouquet or whatever.

[54:16] Giant oversized check.

[54:17] What does he do?

[54:19] Yeah.

[54:20] Giant, like, Toblerone?

[54:21] He gives you $100.

[54:24] Here's a dollar for every year.

[54:26] Every year you've been alive.

[54:27] I'll take it, man.

[54:28] Buy yourself some Werther's.

[54:29] I mean, don't turn down $100, yeah.

[54:31] Buy yourself, he brings you $100 worth of Werther's

[54:33] because he knows what you're going to spend it on anyway.

[54:35] Yeah.

[54:36] Yeah, I go into the fucking Werther's store

[54:38] and they have my number.

[54:40] I see the fucking salesman licking his lips.

[54:48] Licking them because he's got a fucking word in his mouth.

[54:50] We're meeting our sales quota today, fellas.

[54:54] Hey, guys, let me show you how it's done.

[54:57] Yeah, take this new flavor out for a spin.

[54:59] Hey, Rookie, have a seat.

[55:02] I got this one.

[55:03] Watch the master at work.

[55:05] I got two mortgages to pay here, kid.

[55:09] Sell this hard candy to this old asshole.

[55:12] Come on in, fella.

[55:13] Come on in.

[55:14] He's going to be eating the candy out of my hand.

[55:17] I don't know if I should buy that much candy.

[55:19] I should talk to my wife first.

[55:20] Ooh, oh, so your wife makes the decisions.

[55:22] So I should be talking to her.

[55:23] Oh, fuck it.

[55:24] I'll buy this candy.

[55:25] See, that's how you do it, son.

[55:28] He drives away in a Cadillac.

[55:30] Commissions, son.

[55:31] It's all about commissions.

[55:33] Yeah.

[55:34] ABC, always speak candy.

[55:36] I'm imagining one giant Werther's in the middle of the showroom on a pedestal.

[55:41] Yeah, slowly rotating.

[55:44] There's the sales chart in the back of who's pushed the most Werther's.

[55:51] An old man walks in, they're all fighting over each other to get there first.

[55:57] Well, guys, we've had a lot of laughs.

[55:59] There's only two more summer movies to look at.

[56:01] This next one is going to be just as funny.

[56:03] That's right, it's suddenly last summer.

[56:06] Have you guys seen this movie

[56:08] or are you familiar with the story of Suddenly Last Summer?

[56:10] I think it's on Criterion right now.

[56:13] I think I looked at it and was like,

[56:15] do I want to watch this maybe?

[56:17] No, I have not.

[56:17] Now this is based on the play by Tennessee Williams.

[56:20] Are you familiar with the story of it at all,

[56:22] Suddenly Last Summer?

[56:23] No, I don't think so.

[56:24] And it's not like Suddenly Seymour,

[56:27] which is a different thing entirely.

[56:29] Not to spoil it for you,

[56:30] Suddenly Last Summer is the story of a young woman

[56:32] dealing with the trauma of a violent murder

[56:36] that she saw the previous summer.

[56:38] But we find out.

[56:39] But she still knows what they did.

[56:42] Well, she's dealing with it.

[56:44] And her other members of her family,

[56:46] her mother, I believe it is,

[56:47] is about the death of her cousin

[56:51] after her cousin's dissolute summer of debauchery.

[56:55] And her mother has institutionalized her

[56:57] because she refused to admit that what her daughter remembers

[57:01] actually happened, you know.

[57:03] It is a harrowing tale of psychic trauma.

[57:09] You guys haven't seen it.

[57:10] Is this what your summers are like?

[57:12] No.

[57:15] So summer lovers, suddenly last summer,

[57:17] both equally different than your summer experiences.

[57:20] Yeah, my psychic trauma is just kind of a low-level

[57:22] sort of constant dissatisfaction and alienation.

[57:27] I don't, you know, I don't feel like it's tied to...

[57:30] It's not in any way tied to mass cannibalism or anything like that.

[57:32] Right, right.

[57:33] What? That's what that's about?

[57:35] I'm not going to spoil anymore. See that movie.

[57:37] So this is something that somehow for some reason—

[57:41] There's a part of me that wishes I had like a Cadillac of trauma.

[57:44] Like a specific thing to point to?

[57:46] Instead of like, oh, yeah, I just have to deal with the stuff I've inherited from my parents.

[57:51] I think it's very easy for people to desire something that's more distinctive than what they have,

[57:56] but it's probably better not to have a Cadillac of trauma.

[57:59] you're probably right don't go to the and do not go to the guy who used to sell worthers you know

[58:04] at the cadillac a trauma dealership and he's gonna get you in a cadillac full of bad bad

[58:10] traumatic experiences you don't want that he's too good a salesman you know um so suddenly last

[58:15] summer would you want this to be what happens to you that you had a summer that was so traumatizing

[58:19] that you were in a mental institution now and your mother wants to have a lobotomist cut the

[58:23] memories out of your brain well that part yeah i am always looking for like an easy way to

[58:31] solve my problems oh they're just gonna eternal sunshine me okay yeah okay uh no it sounds pretty

[58:37] bad no that's that seems horrible that might be the worst one you've suggested yeah okay that

[58:42] one's pretty i think so worse than i know what you did last summer where you killed someone and

[58:47] you're on the run from yeah because like you get to be a teenage hard body that's true you do get

[58:52] to be a teenage hardback.

[58:53] I mean,

[58:53] I don't know you just

[58:54] become the character

[58:55] from I Know You Did Last Summer.

[58:57] I think you're still you.

[58:58] We're not morphing?

[59:00] I mean,

[59:00] everybody's morphing these days.

[59:03] Everybody's morphing these days.

[59:06] So,

[59:07] suddenly last summer,

[59:08] let's say,

[59:09] let's not do that.

[59:09] Also,

[59:10] it's not what my summers

[59:10] were like either.

[59:11] I had my share

[59:12] of unpleasant summers,

[59:14] but they were not that bad,

[59:15] you know.

[59:16] Finally,

[59:17] there's one last movie on here.

[59:18] Uh-oh.

[59:19] This one snuck in

[59:20] because it has

[59:20] summer in the title.

[59:22] That's right,

[59:22] It's 500 Days of Summer.

[59:24] It has to encompass summer in some way

[59:26] because it's 500 days.

[59:27] That's more than a year.

[59:28] Yeah.

[59:28] So this movie, have you guys seen 500 Days of Summer?

[59:32] I'm not saying the parentheses.

[59:33] I apologize.

[59:33] 500 Days of Summer, yeah.

[59:35] The premise is you jump around

[59:38] with a bunch of different days of the relationship

[59:41] between, what's his face?

[59:45] Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

[59:45] Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.

[59:48] Uh-huh.

[59:48] Yeah, you got a looper and an adorkable in one movie.

[59:52] You've seen this movie.

[59:53] Does it represent your experience of summer?

[59:56] I mean, certainly having a crush on someone adorkable and then...

[1:00:01] You did?

[1:00:02] And then going to a party and hoping that things might turn out a certain way

[1:00:06] and then it not turning out well.

[1:00:08] Like, those are experiences I can relate to.

[1:00:11] Yeah.

[1:00:11] What about you, Stuart?

[1:00:12] And the feeling of when things finally work out

[1:00:16] and you look at yourself in the mirror and you're Han Solo.

[1:00:18] Like, that makes sense.

[1:00:19] Yeah, yeah.

[1:00:20] So I think – and I – similarly, I feel like not necessarily a summer – no, it did have that over a summer once where it was like you have an unrequited crush on somebody and you're hoping that it works out and it doesn't work out.

[1:00:33] Do you want this to be your summer?

[1:00:35] Do you want to experience that again?

[1:00:38] I mean, it gets to be with Zooey Deschanel for a little while.

[1:00:41] That's true.

[1:00:43] Good.

[1:00:44] So you're saying the dopamine highs are worth the crushing lows.

[1:00:48] I mean, I think that's kind of ultimately the moral of the movie in a way.

[1:00:53] I mean, isn't that life, though?

[1:00:54] Isn't that life?

[1:00:54] No, you're right.

[1:00:55] You know, the highs are worth the lows.

[1:00:56] No, no, no.

[1:00:57] I think it's better to armor myself in contempt and like nothing at all.

[1:01:02] You would prefer to have a thick layer of cynicism between you and reality so you can never be hurt.

[1:01:07] Yes, please.

[1:01:09] Well, we've got either side of the spectrum here.

[1:01:11] Just scab it up.

[1:01:11] Turn me into concrete, but for emotions.

[1:01:14] Yeah, not concrete.

[1:01:15] Who has a new book out right now?

[1:01:16] There's a new concrete comic out for the first time in years.

[1:01:18] Oh, he wrote something, too?

[1:01:21] Concrete, the fictional character, now has a new book out.

[1:01:23] But you want emotional concrete as opposed to concrete.

[1:01:26] The character, his body is made of concrete, but he's actually very vulnerable.

[1:01:30] Yeah, he's very vulnerable, yeah.

[1:01:31] I could totally see him in a 500 Days of Summer type scenario.

[1:01:34] Easily.

[1:01:35] Yeah, very much so.

[1:01:36] And it's hard for him to fall in love because his body is made of concrete.

[1:01:40] He would crush a human being when he tried to help.

[1:01:42] Yeah, the physical act would provide challenges.

[1:01:45] And when he meets a woman made out of concrete, they're just not his type.

[1:01:49] Yeah, that's the worst part.

[1:01:51] Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:51] People assume just because they keep trying to push them together.

[1:01:54] Oh, you keep trying to match us up because we're both concretes.

[1:01:57] But, you know, you think I listen to music concrete all the time.

[1:02:00] Well, I don't.

[1:02:02] Well, guys, so if I can sum up, what we've learned about summer is you would like your summer to be crazy.

[1:02:10] Sexy, cool.

[1:02:13] You would not like to have any sort of murder involved.

[1:02:17] You don't want a serial killer running around.

[1:02:19] You don't want to hit someone with their car and have revenge.

[1:02:21] You don't want to be eaten alive.

[1:02:23] You don't want any of those things to happen.

[1:02:24] Wait, that happens?

[1:02:26] You would not mind being around monsters on a cruise,

[1:02:29] and you want to have sex.

[1:02:31] They're relaxed.

[1:02:31] But you want to have sex with someone

[1:02:32] that you're not going to regret it with after later

[1:02:35] because it leaves an emotional, you know, aftertaste.

[1:02:38] Usually one of the top ways to do it.

[1:02:40] Yeah, yeah.

[1:02:42] So I think, you know what, I think we can make that happen.

[1:02:46] You guys, I think I can't provide it for you, but I think if you would find out.

[1:02:50] Oh, I thought we were talking to the salesman again.

[1:02:52] He can put us in this.

[1:02:53] Yeah, I'll put you in a –

[1:02:53] This summer is here today.

[1:02:56] What does it take to get you to drive away in a crazy, sexy summer?

[1:02:59] What's it going to take?

[1:03:00] No, no, no.

[1:03:01] Now that we know, now that we've examined what we want out of summer, we can go out and get it.

[1:03:07] You can go out.

[1:03:07] Exactly.

[1:03:08] Because the first step of getting what you want is knowing what you want.

[1:03:11] Listeners, I know what you want.

[1:03:13] What you want is to tell other people about the Flophouse podcast.

[1:03:17] Why not leave us a review on the podcast app of your choice?

[1:03:20] Make it a five-star review.

[1:03:21] Why not?

[1:03:21] Be generous.

[1:03:22] Come on.

[1:03:23] You only live once.

[1:03:23] Yeah, let's get crazy with it.

[1:03:24] Come on.

[1:03:24] It's the summer.

[1:03:25] Let's get crazy and sexy.

[1:03:26] It's the summer.

[1:03:27] Yeah, come on.

[1:03:28] And I took some well-deserved heat on the Discord for recommending the Discord without telling people how they could go to the Discord.

[1:03:36] I'm like, oh, I forget.

[1:03:38] It's lastnamewithheld.com is the easy link to get to the Flophouse Discord.

[1:03:43] The Flophouse Discord is a real nice place for conversation.

[1:03:46] The people there are real friendly.

[1:03:48] Tell them Dan sent you now that you know what the URL is to get to it.

[1:03:53] When he actually sends you, yeah.

[1:03:55] This show, who has provided us with all the summer help,

[1:03:59] all the summer schooling and summer jobs for this one?

[1:04:01] Why?

[1:04:02] It's Alex Smith.

[1:04:03] You may know him better as HowlDotty.

[1:04:04] He's going to be with us in Louisville, Kentucky on Friday, September 18th.

[1:04:08] I hope you can join us there.

[1:04:09] This podcast, we thank him for making this rambling nonsense sound like an actual show

[1:04:14] that you listen to.

[1:04:16] We are a member of the MaxFun Podcast Network.

[1:04:19] Please go and try out other MaxFun shows.

[1:04:21] They've got a lot of great ones.

[1:04:22] If you like them enough, or even if you don't like them, go to MaximumFun.com slash join

[1:04:26] and become a member.

[1:04:27] Why not?

[1:04:27] Because the show only exists because of the support of our listeners and Maximum Fun members.

[1:04:32] Thank you so much for being members.

[1:04:33] we appreciate it thanks for keeping the lights on and the air conditioning on as well because

[1:04:38] this summer has been hot we'll be back with you next week with another full-length episode of the

[1:04:44] flop house where we will watch a bad movie and then talk about it until then i hope you've been

[1:04:48] having a great summer i've been elliot kalin and i've been joined by dan mccoy and summertime

[1:04:54] stewart wellington stay cool see you next year at school bye and also next week oh and next week

[1:05:03] Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini 155 - Summer-y Judgments

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